Saturday, May 20, 2017
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, May 19, 2017
lil johnny on the loose
Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, May 18, 2017
lil johnny on the loose
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four,"... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
more puns
How did I escape Iraq? Iran. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball. A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy. Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box. eBay is so useless. I tried to look up... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
puns for adnohr
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink. I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off. I'm reading a book about... Sign in to see full entry.
As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember: 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, May 14, 2017
The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archaeological finds. This... Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, May 13, 2017
accident
A lady had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My Goodness!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, May 12, 2017
* You dance and it makes the band skip. * You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live. * You put mayonnaise on an aspirin. * You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts. * Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side." * You... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
THE ROBBER
A robber was robbing a house. All of a sudden someone said, "Jesus is watching you!" "What? Oh well," said the robber and he went back to work. When he started to pick up the VCR, he heard the voice again, "Jesus is watching you!" it said again. This time the robber pointed his flashlight at the... Sign in to see full entry.