(Mostly) Humorous Quotes

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Democracy and Love

Adultery is the application of democracy to love. H. L. Mencken Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

A few friends

All I need is room to lay a hat and a few friends--Dorothy Parker Sign in to see full entry.

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Sunday, April 17, 2005

Cheating in America

I just used this quote in a comment so I thought I may as well make it today's (Mostly) humorous quote. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Jackie Mason Sign in to see full entry.

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Saturday, April 16, 2005

Double your chances

Regular readers of this blog know that I'm a Woody Allen fan. Here's another one of my favorite Woody quotes. I am a practicing heterosexual. But being bisexual immediately doubles your chances to get a date on Saturday night. Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, April 15, 2005

Drove me to drink

While I'm in a W.C. Fields mode, here's another one of his A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her for it. Sign in to see full entry.

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Thursday, April 14, 2005

Bottle of Whiskey

I keep a bottle of whiskey handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. W.C. Fields Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Afterlife?

I don't believe in the afterlife, but I am bringing along a change of underwear, just in case.--Woody Allen Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Nothing Happening

My wife and I were in bed but nothing was happening. I said "What's the matter, you can't think of anyone either? Rodney Dangerfield Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, April 8, 2005

Happy for Twenty Years

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.--Rodney Dangerfield Sign in to see full entry.

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Sunday, April 3, 2005

Beautfifully Irrational

Having a child is the most beautifully irrational act two people in love can commit--Bill Cosby Sign in to see full entry.

posted by jollyjeff at 12:26 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry