(Mostly) Humorous Quotes

Tuesday, August 2, 2005

Harming the environment?

It's not pollution that's harming the environment, it's the impurities in the air and water. Dan Quayle. Sign in to see full entry.

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Sunday, July 31, 2005

Good question

What's another word for thesaurus?--Steven Wright Sign in to see full entry.

posted by jollyjeff at 11:43 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, July 29, 2005

A clear sign

Yet another Woody Allen If only God would give me a clear sign. Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Won't stand for it

The only thing that would make me leave my wife is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that. --Steve Martin Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Morning Routine?

Inspiration for all us writers. First coffee. Then a bowel movement. Then the muse. --Gore Vidal Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Deserving?

I don't deserve this award but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either Jack Benny Sign in to see full entry.

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Saturday, July 16, 2005

Adding spice

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation- George Bernard Shaw Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, July 15, 2005

Weak Person?

Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation to deny himself pleasure. Ambrose Bierce Sign in to see full entry.

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Thursday, July 14, 2005

Infinite Stupidity

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former--Albert Einstein Sign in to see full entry.

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Saturday, July 9, 2005

Fear of Happiness

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. H.L. Menken Sign in to see full entry.

posted by jollyjeff at 12:23 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry