Whacky's Corner

Bo barked, naturally I ran to the door to see what he was barking at. Wow! This was the first time I actually saw something! It was a squirrel sitting on the block wall calmly enjoying his breakfast in the morning sunlight. - Bo was barking, whining and dancing about. I ran to get my camera. Just as I got to the door with it, Bo's barking filtered to the squirrel and he dissapeared to the other side of the fence. I saw his fluffy tail in the viewfinder of the camcorder. Too bad I didn't have it... Sign in to see full entry.

Last Christmas I got a "Clapper." You know one of those things that turns the lights off and on when you clap your hands. Well, mine was so sensitive that the lights would go on and off when I blinked. So, I got one that isn't so sensitive. Now the lights only go on when there is a sonic boom! And there's never a sonic boom when your really need one. - Have you ever noticed how many really useless objects go on sale at Christmas time? A couple of years ago they came out with a shaver that would... Sign in to see full entry.

In an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW I! n a Laun dromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING -... Sign in to see full entry.

I really don't mind bills. I want to pay what I owe. What I don't like is getting a charges a customer fee and an access fee and a franchise fee and a usage fee. When I go to the grocery store and buy a gallon of milk, I pay the marked price plus sales tax and that's it. I want my phone and water bill to be the same. - When I buy water from the city I pay for what I use then all the other fees. They charge me for the pipe going into the house, which we paid for forty years ago. - Then they put... Sign in to see full entry.

I was standing in line at the grocery store the other day and the people in front of me were talking about how great they are at recycling. I listened, noticing that they didn't have a canvas bag to carry their groceries home in but still criticized the guy in front of them who preferred paper to plastic. (I guess there is a tree somewhere that hates him). - Anyway the lady in front of me was bragging that she pays someone to come and pick up her glass once a month. She even blabbed that she... Sign in to see full entry.

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [no, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [now that's taking things a bit far!] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [not if I wipe thoroughly!] Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [what a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work after Death [no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!] Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [see if that works any better than a fair trial!] War Dims Hope... Sign in to see full entry.

If you have a can of air freshener do this: Spray it in the room then run under where you just sprayed it. You will feel like you are in a mist-like rain. You'll probably smell better too. - That is the problem with air fresheners, they don't stay in the air long enough to really freshen it. It might freshen the dog, the carpet, maybe even the cat, but the air stays pretty much the same. One solution might be just to spray it up your nose. That way everything smells better, at least to you. -... Sign in to see full entry.

Mouse Dog? - Who needs a cat when you've got a Bo? I was in the back yard trimming my roses and Bo was rooting around in the planter. I figured he was just looking for a bone he had hidden. - A few minutes later I could sense Bo staring at me. He was sitting there gazing at me and he had something in his mouth. At first I thought it was just one of his rawhide bones. Then I noticed it was squirming around and squeaking...ewwww! - It was a mouse! "Drop that right now!" I told Bo. He did and it... Sign in to see full entry.

Late one night, I ran to the grocery store for some milk. On my way to the dairy section I could hear loud thumps and crashes coming from the back. It sounded almost like thunder... - After picking up my milk I went to investigate the strange sounds. Several stock boy and sackers were bowling with frozen turkeys and can goods. - I watched as one of them threw a turkey down the isle knocking over a stack of canned yams. The others cheered him on. - He stacked the cans back up and the next fellow... Sign in to see full entry.

It's on everything! You know the Universal Product Code, it's those little black stripes that tell the computer how much to charge you for something. I wouldn't be surprised to pick up an orange and find that they have devised a way to grow the orange with the UPC already embedded.** - They've got genetically altered tomatoes and corn, so why not put in the product code while they are at it? In my humble opinion the code would probably taste better than those tomatoes. They taste like plastic.... Sign in to see full entry.