Friday, September 10, 2004
Too High
Urinals Too High A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the...
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Thursday, September 9, 2004
Put Out Your Tongue A Little Further
"Put out your tongue a little further," said a doctor to a fair invalid. "A little further, if you please." "Why, doctor, do you think a woman's tongue has no end!", said the gentle sufferer. "An end, perhaps, madam," replied the physician, "but no cessation."
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Wednesday, September 8, 2004
Punctuation of the Month
Punctuation of the Month A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy called upon walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made...
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Punctuation of the Month
Punctuation of the Month A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy called upon walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made...
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Saturday, September 4, 2004
Forgive us our trespasses
Forgive us our trespasses A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment....
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Friday, September 3, 2004
Teacher learns about her roots
Teacher Learns about her Roots A friend of mine who is a first time bilingual teacher this year and teaching third grade is probably learning more than her students every day. A graduate of Texas A&M University she has been preparing for that first day of school a long time. She was terrified that...
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Monday, August 30, 2004
Head Gear
Head Gear Have you ever paid attention to what people wear on thief heads? I had never given it much thought until today while I was out running errands. As I sat at the traffic light I glanced over at the car beside me and the man in the car beside me had a pair of underwear on his head. This isn’t...
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Friday, August 27, 2004
George Carlin's Views on Aging
George Carlin's Views on Aging I saw George Carlin's show in Las Vegas in 95 and it was great. Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?"...
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Thursday, August 26, 2004
Things You Can Count On
THINGS YOU CAN COUNT ON There aren’t many certainties in life. Some people always manage to weasel out of paying taxes, without being caught; and nearly everyone knows a person they can’t stand who just refuses to die. There are a few things that you can always count on though, things you can make...
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Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Story From a Canadian Courtroom
Story from a Canadian courtroom If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility... Q: "Officer -- did you see my client...
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