Life Sucks--So Learn to Laugh

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Blonde Goes On Who Wants to be a Millionare

A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Old Country Preacher

An old country preacher had > a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give > some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men > his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to > do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, > while the boy was away at school,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Dad at the Mall - Hilarious

Dad at the Mall I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Confessional

These two kids about 12 or 13 go to confession. The first one goes into the confessional and admits having sex with a girl. The priest says, "It wasn't Carmen Angelozi was it"? The kid says "No father, it wasn't". The priest says, "It wasn't Angela Fetucini was it"? The kid replies, "No father, it... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Bathroom

Things to do in the bathroom stall... 1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?" 2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, "Hmmm,... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Only In America

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ralph and Edna

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Santa

Politically Correct Santa 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves", "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Pick Me Up Baby!

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard. I'm bigger and better than the Titanic. Only 200 woman went down on the Titanic. Want to see my Hard Drive? I promise it ain't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy. Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god"... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Always Know Who You Are Talking To

A young man and his girlfriend finally decide they are gonna have sex for the first time. Well the young man is all excited and rushes to the drug store to buy some condoms. He asks the pharmacist what was his best kind of condoms. The pharmacist gives him the best and the young man leaves. Well... Sign in to see full entry.

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