Saturday, November 20, 2004
Bus Trip
A senior citizens' group charters a bus from San Angelo, TX to Branson. As they entered Missouri, an elderly woman comes up to the driver and says, "I've just been molested!" The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down. A short...
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Thursday, November 11, 2004
Silent Alarm?
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he...
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Friday, October 29, 2004
The Lie Clock
The Lie Clock A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock...
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Thursday, October 21, 2004
Signs of the times
These were too good to keep to myself - Hope you enjoy them............. Yesyouare! The Amigone family operates several funeral homes in and around Buffalo, New York. Photo courtesy of Carmen S. Garrison. Does this mean that the... Philadelphia Eagles have won the Super Bowl? (Pick your team & the...
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Thursday, October 14, 2004
Bumper Stickers
BUMPER STICKERS YOU PROBABLY MISSED BECAUSE YOU WERE DRIVING TOO FAST.... 1. Constipated People Don't Give A crap. 2. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. 3. Horn Broken....Watch For Finger. 4. The Earth Is Full - Go Home. 5. I Have The Body Of A God....Buddha. 6. So Many Pedestrians....So...
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Saturday, October 9, 2004
Wrong Wife
After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together. Unfortunately,...
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Thursday, October 7, 2004
Five Types of SEX and More
FIVE TYPES OF SEX and MORE SOCIAL SECURITY SEX Two men were talking. So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LOUD SEX: A wife went in to see a...
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Wednesday, October 6, 2004
Woman Says, Man Hears
What a woman says: This place is a mess! C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now! What a man hears: Blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON, blah, blah, YOU AND I, blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR, blah, blah,...
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Tuesday, October 5, 2004
Reach for the right stuff
My friend Debbie, as a treat took her three year old son Matthew to an ice cream shop. Of course by the time he was finished eating, he was covered in chocolate. Debbie reached into her purse and pulled out a diaper wipe to clean Matthew's face. Just as she leaned toward him. he suddenly screamed,...
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Monday, October 4, 2004
Which HOLE?
A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went...
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