Sad Anniversary
Twenty five years ago today, on his fathers birthday, my cousin Larry committed suicide. He was twenty five years old so now he's been gone as long than he was here. I still miss him. Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Too Short? No Just Right
My essays are NOT too short. Am I being defensive? Well excuse me but My essays are NOT too short. I've just heard one too many times that they are too short. But the thing is no one ever tells me what I left out. My essays are short because I'm a good writer. Good writers are economical, we don't... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Two Keys
How many keys do you have? I got two. Car. Apartment That's it. My roommate has the mailbox key. What keys don't I have? Well I'm retired so I don't have a key to the office. Didn't have one when I was working either. Don't know any of my neighbors so I don't have any of their keys. Don't have a... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Good Luck or Bad?
When I was in first grade, I found a four leaf clover on Friday the thirtheenth. I've been confused ever since. True story. Sign in to see full entry.
The Long and Short of It
Why do I keep hearing commercials for fertilizer to help grow grass, followed by a commercial for a lawn mower to help make grass shorter? Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
99 Years of Winter
Is it my imagination or has it been winter for about 99 years now? Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Don't stay at the Excalibur
Just got back from Las Vegas Stayed at the Excalibur Hotel I have one word for them Don'tstaythere. It might have been a perfectly fine hotel. I'll never know because the whole time I was there, I was busy fighting off people who were trying to sell me a time share. In my four days at the hotel I... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Fredian Slip in Carole King Lyric
I was watching a Carole King special on PBS last night with the closed captioning on. When Carole was singing "can I trust your sighs?" the closed captioning was showing "can I trust your size?" Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
My Comedy Routine
Some people tell me I should be a standup comic. Here's a rough draft of my routine Hi I'm Jeff. I'm 51 years old and I've never been married. I'll pause here while you all ask each other "What's wrong with him?" The real reason I haven't gotten married is that I can't marry one woman without... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A Healthy Attitude about Junk Food
It happened again. Got my blood pressure checked. It was durn near perfect 120/88 I eat almost nothing but junk food. It's not unusual for me to have potato chips and dip for dinner. Sometimes for breakfast too. The closest I come to eating a fruit or a vegetable is when I push my grocery cart... Sign in to see full entry.