Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, September 16, 2013

Kids say the silliest things! III

Q: What kind of money to polo bears use? A: Ice lolly! Q: Have you ever hunted bear? A: No, but I've been shooting in my shorts! Q: How do you start a teddy bear race? A: Ready, teddy, go! Q: What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? A: A bear faced lyre! Q: Why do bears have fur... Sign in to see full entry.

Makes you wonder how they got to be in their position!

Here are some of the submissions of actual comments, notices, and statements coming out of different companies: As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Kids say the silliest things! II

Where do ants go for their holidays? Frants! What do you call an ant who skips school? A truant! What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics? All sorts of antics! What do you call a greedy ant? An anteater! Why did the elephant put his trunk across the path? To trip up the ants! What is... Sign in to see full entry.

Smart salesman

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Kids say the silliest things!

What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep? A dinosnore! What is the fruitiest lesson? History, because it's full of dates! What language do they speak in Cuba? Cubic! Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pitstops during the race? He was asking for directions! How do you keep an... Sign in to see full entry.

Engineer Linguistics

Top 25 Engineer's Terms and Expressions (What they say versus what they mean) A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still guessing at this point.) Close project coordination. (We sat down and had coffee together.) An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach. (We... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Twas the night the burglar...

A story I'll tell of a burglar bold Who started to rob a house; He opened the window, and then crept in As quiet as a mouse. He looked around for a place to hide, 'Till the folks were all asleep, Then said he, "With their money I'll take a quiet sneak." So under the bed the burglar crept; He crept... Sign in to see full entry.

Perhaps you have heard of a few of these

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your... Sign in to see full entry.

...Ponderings

I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made the horn louder. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice? If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they. When I'm not in my right mind, my... Sign in to see full entry.

Directory assistance

The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre. Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct? Caller: Well,... Sign in to see full entry.