Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

"You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When..."

You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your boss is standing behind... Sign in to see full entry.

some office thoughts of the day

Thoughts and stories from on the job My boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, "Is this what you get paid for?" I told him, "Nope! I do this for free." This same boss was into all this dumb inspirational and motivation stuff too. I remember once he posted a... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Dude...I want to do better than nitro!

Top honors for "Human Projectile of the Month" go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude who is also a serious contender for the annual "Darwin Award". That prestigious prize is given posthumously to the person who does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most... Sign in to see full entry.

Don't have the time of day...

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at... Sign in to see full entry.

Excuse me...

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere." Sign in to see full entry.

hhhhhhhhh groaner

There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried, could never please the Mother Superior. One day she comes up with an idea: since the abbey was always cold, she decided to cut some wood and build a fire in the fireplace to heat the place up. She spent all day chopping, hauling... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Chinese Laundry

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How in hell does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old... Sign in to see full entry.

Murphy's Law applied to martial arts

Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts: The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him. The referee will always be looking the other way when you score. The day you... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Snakes

There once was a snake breeder who had two snakes he was trying to mate. For the life of him, he couldn't get them within two feet of each other. Frustrated, he called up the local zoologist, and explained the situation. She hurried over, picked up the snakes and looked at them. "You know what I... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Groaning about Mary

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night. "Certainly madam", he replied courteously. "Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary. "Sorry, no," came the reply, "but... Sign in to see full entry.