Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, November 30, 2015

For Naut

The Law of Volunteering" If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. "The Law of Avoiding Oversell" When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. "The Law of Common Sense" Never accept a drink from a urologist. "The Law of Reality" Never get into fights with... Sign in to see full entry.

creative tax form

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio (AP) - The city's tax superintendent has been suspended without pay for a week for trying to inject some humor in the city income tax filing instructions. The forms - with such lines as, "If we can tax it, we will," - were sent last week to all Middletown businesses and residents... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

new std

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having... Sign in to see full entry.

noah in modern day

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans, thy sons and their... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

donald runsfeld

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started." "We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead." "Death has a tendency to encourage a... Sign in to see full entry.

dear irs

Enclosed is my 2005 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from "USA Today" archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats. Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 27, 2015

abbott and costello modernized

Date of Joke: Monday, 2nd May, 2005 George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George:... Sign in to see full entry.

dear sirs

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better. This is one of those. It is a real letter submitted to the IRS the midst of 1995s weird and bizarre denial of dependents, exemptions and credits. The letter speaks for itself. Sirs: I am responding to your... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

politicians

busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the... Sign in to see full entry.

W

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."...George W. Bush "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."...George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93 "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm... Sign in to see full entry.