Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

mother's day breakfast

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 14, 2015

where is...

As a concierge at a posh resort, I was often asked about the ski facilities. One day a couple who had just checked in after a long flight came by and asked me where the lift was. "Go down the hill," I told them, "out the door, past the pool, 200 yards down the block, and you'll see it on your... Sign in to see full entry.

french

he only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

roulette

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer. On the final day of his visit, the... Sign in to see full entry.

blonds!

Two blond guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

why?????

A mother and her son were flying "Southwest Airlines" from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer)... Sign in to see full entry.

smuggling

On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, a man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paperwork to take the puppy on board, the man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and snuck him on board the airplane. About 30 minutes into the trip, a... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

bandit

The story is told of a Mexican bandit who robbed a Texas bank of $250,000 and escaped across the river. A month went by and the bandit thought he was safe. He was celebrating his good fortune at a local cantina, when a Texas Ranger walked up and dragged him out into the dusty street. After he... Sign in to see full entry.

For Krisles

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how TRUE this is! They actually have a chili cook off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome! Grab a tissue, this is hilarious. Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

dishes

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains, he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. His girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He rides his new bike to her house, where... Sign in to see full entry.