Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Larry's Proverbs

1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2.. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:51 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, September 23, 2016

burglary in progress

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 3:29 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

gambling

When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER." I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?" Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 12:33 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, September 18, 2016

proverbs today

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. c.. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. d.. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. e.. A closed mouth... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:09 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, September 15, 2016

bubba

One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. Bubba, where'd you git that truck?!?" Tammie give it to me" Bubba replied. "She give it to ya? I know'd she wuz kinda sweet on ya, but a New truck?"... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 1:28 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

outhouse!

Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:01 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, September 9, 2016

texan oversea

A Texan walks in to a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. Ill give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back. The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texans offer. One... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 7:48 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

puns

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off. How did I escape Iraq? Iran. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:37 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, September 5, 2016

puns

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game. BagFaceMan - England Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:22 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, September 3, 2016

following instructions

According to the Knight Rider News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the US Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated as "Wash. Biol. Surv."; until the agency received the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:22 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

Recent Entries
People
Links

Headlines (What is this?)