Wednesday, November 7, 2012
One more political
It's Friday night and President Bill is working late in the White House. Suddenly the big, red telephone on his desk rings. [President Bill] Hello! Hello! [Voice on the line] President Bill! We have a report that Boris Yeltsin just ordered the launch of all Russian missiles in a full-scale nuclear...
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Tuesday, November 6, 2012
More Political Jokes
I voted for Bill Clinton and would again if he could run again. Just some humor to lighten the gloom and doom predictions by everybody....enjoy! A man was walking along when he spotted a small boy busily constructing something. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with cow...
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Political Jokes
Some political humor in honor of the elections today. I chose past elections/presidents so as not to hear any flack about picking on anyone in particular. Hope you enjoy! Bill Clinton has just had a major new policy decision that he thinks is going to "save" America. He decides to talk it over with...
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Monday, November 5, 2012
Kids
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!" On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today?" The little boy shrugged his...
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Who says kids don't know ...
A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. As you shall make your bed so shall you..........mess it up. Better be safe than......................punch a 5th grader. Strike while...
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Sunday, November 4, 2012
I wanna tv!
A blonde walks into an electronics store and says, "I'd like to buy that tv please." The salesperson replies, "I'm sorry. We don't sell to blondes here." The blonde goes home and dyes her hair brown, and a few days later returns to the store, again asking to buy the tv. "I told you, we don't sell to...
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Saturday, November 3, 2012
Who says the young are creative
Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk: 10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound 4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound 2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound 2 bars soap at $.83 each "How much does that come to?" asked Larry. "Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents."...
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Smartalek in every crowd
A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said. "Actually," said his guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation." The visitor was astonished. "Was Joshua Hemingway...
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Oh Please Teach!
Teacher: What is the axis of the earth? Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves. Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line? Student: Yes, Sir. Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes? Student:...
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Friday, November 2, 2012
Public Speaking Recently our speaker had to discontinue several of his long talks on account of his throat. Several people threatened to cut it. You have heard it said before that this speaker needs no introduction. Well, I have heard him and he needs all the introduction he can get. Our speaker...
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