Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, February 25, 2016

please explain

Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring,and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

mice in church

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with mice in my church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away. The second Pastor then said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

military training

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop "If the enemy is in range, so are... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 22, 2016

my son's a vet

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small churchfound a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

burglary

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 19, 2016

mice!

We have mice in the house again. They keep leaving the darn garage door open for the dog to go outside. They seem to refuse to take the dog on a leash as required by local law. sigh. The other day I heard it in my closet. One of them was trying to get into my chocolates my son gave me for christmas.... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

gotta love the military!

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovered that the aircraft's latrine holding tank was still full from the last flight. So a message was sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called out to take... Sign in to see full entry.

need a room!

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

dying

A priest was preparing a man for his long journey into the night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil." The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, "Why do you refuse... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 15, 2016

sex

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not... Sign in to see full entry.