Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, February 7, 2016

3 kicks

This might be a repeat...... A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.The... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 5, 2016

for my graysome

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." --Bruce Graham "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Unknown "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats... Sign in to see full entry.

biker's dog

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?" A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

paying wages

A man owned a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Work Force Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's... Sign in to see full entry.

getting married

A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn't, sent them off to get one. They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

employee handbook

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. 3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so... Sign in to see full entry.

fired!

When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation." The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter that next day. The following... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

kids!

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to... Sign in to see full entry.

first day of school

t was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, "Happy Butt." The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name you need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out." So she went to the principal's office and he asked,... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 1, 2016

forgive

The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies." He asked how many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80 % held up their hands. He then repeated his question once more. All responded, except one elderly... Sign in to see full entry.