Oh no you didn't!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Are you in this hall of fame?

he 2000 Darwin awards! (15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to spit farther than his buddy. His plan was to hurl himself towards a metal guardrail while expectorating, in order to add momentum to his saliva. In a... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Dictionary for women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the... Sign in to see full entry.

Stupid people stories Stupid people LICENSE TO STEAL Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

No chance of high SAT scores with this one

Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the... Sign in to see full entry.

And the judge remained straight faced!

Stupid people DEADHEADS A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify. THIS WOULD BE ME The judge... Sign in to see full entry.

loool

Welfare applications For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments. I am forwarding my... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I need glasses!

There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

And the cheese stands alone

Mrs. White asked her 4th grade class if they thought they were stupid and, if so, to please stand. Little Jimmy stood up, alone. Mrs. White said, "Jimmy, do you really think you're stupid?" "No," Jimmy said. "But I didn't want you standing up there alone." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Oh yes she did!

Today as the gates were opening to let in a complete sell out crowd...not even standing room available the credit card system fell asleep on the job. Yep...right as the crowd starts charging through the gates. Thankfully I had a seasoned fund raising group in the stand. I was going over how to do a... Sign in to see full entry.

Some days...

Joe had asked Bob to help him build a deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his... Sign in to see full entry.

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