Oh no you didn't!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Never ask a question that you are not sure of the answer!

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. “This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?” “No, madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.” Sign in to see full entry.

Mom knows best!

A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uhh, oh yeah, O.K."... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Why didn't they have these form letters when I was in school?

Dear Parent(s), Date: I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us. Please send me: __ Money (Cash) Amount: _____ __ Food (Cookies) Dozens: _____ __ Clean clothes! Relationships: __ What? __ I am in love with myself. __ I am in love! __ I am engaged.... Sign in to see full entry.

Let's see if you both agree...

Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms--so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that... Sign in to see full entry.

You might be a college student if...

1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student. 2. If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match. 3. If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal. 4. If you have ever written a check for 45 cents. 5. If you have a fine collection of domestic beer... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Now I...

Now I Lay Me Down to Study, I Pray the Lord I Won't Go Nutty. If I Should Fail to Learn this Junk, I Pray the Lord I Will Not Flunk. But If I Do, Don't Pity Me at All, Just Lay My Bones In the Study Hall. Tell My Prof I Did My Best, Then Pile My Books upon My Chest. Now I Lay Me Down to Rest, And... Sign in to see full entry.

Not the response she hoped for...

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything." He... Sign in to see full entry.

Teach...Can ya change my grade plz?

To: Professor _______________ From: ____________________ I think my grade in your course, ___, should be changed from ___ to ___ for the following reasons: __1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did. __2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did. __3.... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Learn your students names

It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very... Sign in to see full entry.

Hope this is an april fool's letter

Dear Mother and Dad: It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are... Sign in to see full entry.

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