Blogging Naked

By notapoet - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The best one.

The daughter-in-law woke me up just before 11:00 pm. She came over to bum a cigarette and, while she was at it, spotted a mythology reference book that she wanted to borrow. I loaned it to her, of course, although not without misgivings. Experience has taught me two things when it comes to letting... Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

No bull!

A few of you seemed to think the bull I fed you last time out was amusing. Since I aim to please your taste for humorous, if sometimes offbeat stories, here's some more bull: An American tourist, after a long day of seeing the sights in Mexico, stopped at a highly recommended local restaurant and... Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, July 11, 2008

Sounds like...

Big and large, used as a description of any part of feminine anatomy, save one, are generally not considered flattering adjectives. Most women would prefer to be described as slender, small, even tiny, when discussing any area except the one already implied. My ex was no exception. Though a big girl... Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Once is not enough

On my birthday a few years ago my son, poking fun at my stories of athletic prowess in my younger days, presented me with a T-shirt that said, "The older I get, the better I was." Similarly, with more intimate activities in mind, the ex used to tell people, "He may not be as good as he once was, but... Sign in to see full entry.

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Sunday, July 6, 2008

"I do!" "No, I do!"

The ex was an amazing woman who opened my eyes to aspects of womanhood that changed many of my misconceptions and preconceptions. She had the voice of an angel, and a devilish mean streak. She would sing in the church choir on Sunday, and tell a bawdy joke on the way home. And, much to my surprise,... Sign in to see full entry.

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Saturday, July 5, 2008

Homonym or Homophone?

I'm always getting confused about the difference between the two, especially since one of the definitions of homonym is, that's right, homophone. I know because I looked up the definitions. It turns out that both terms describe the case of a pair of words that are pronounced the same, but have... Sign in to see full entry.

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Thursday, July 3, 2008

Abracadabra

Have you ever noticed that most magicians are men? I can't think of a single famous woman magician. If a woman is involved in a magic show at all, it's usually as the beautiful assistant, or the volunteer from the audience. It hardly seems fair in these days of supposed equal opportunity for all. I... Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, July 2, 2008

"Suspicious Minds"

"Suspicious Minds"...was the title of a 1969 #1 hit by the late, great Elvis Presley. I frequently start posts to "notapoet's notebook" with an old song title, and I've also been known to make use of song titles in "notapoet's poetry." It so happens that I was thinking of song titles that might be... Sign in to see full entry.

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Monday, June 30, 2008

We don't always get our druthers.

I never intended for my son to be an only child. Although I was raised as an only child, I always longed for brothers to grow up with. I would even have even settled for a sister, though a pet would have been almost acceptable. When my son came along I envisioned him as the first of many children I... Sign in to see full entry.

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Sunday, June 29, 2008

Fond memories

Half of today's marriages end in divorce. Mine hasn't gotten to that stage yet. The ex didn't exactly want a divorce, she just wanted to be free to go out and play the field again. So we've been legally separated for 11 years, and counting. She's still looking, and I'm still waiting for the other... Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, June 27, 2008

You never know what you might find at a yard sale.

Over the years I've found many, many useful items dirt cheap at yard sales, ranging from boxes of books for practically nothing, through useful tools and electronic gizmos, and even including some rare records and baseball cards that enabled me to turn a tidy profit. However, in recent years I've... Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

You can't take it with you.

So you might as well enjoy the fruits of your labors while you're still alive to enjoy it seems to be the point of the old saying. But some who have been fortunate enough to amass considerable assets have difficulty breaking the habit of building wealth. And they often grumble about the fact that it... Sign in to see full entry.

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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Read this blog, or else!

Testing, testing...testing one, two, three...testing one, two...testing, testing... Why is it that almost everyone who steps up to a PA system, tries out a tape recorder or checks out a microphone goes through the same tired old routine? Wouldn't you prefer a rousing a cappella version of "The House... Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, May 23, 2008

Stacking the deck

All perceptive Blogiteers (perceptive being those who always read notapoet first before all others) know that the ol' non-poet is a big baseball fan. Every real baseball fan, as opposed to all those bandwagon hoppers, pulls for one favorite team above all others, come thick or thin. The non-poet's... Sign in to see full entry.

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Sunday, May 4, 2008

Good news/bad news

Any of you that have read ol' notapoet for a while know that he is passionate about baseball. The non-poet remembers listening to baseball games on the radio before he was old enough to start schoo. It was a passion that has remained firmly seated even after it became apparent that professional... Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, April 18, 2008

Now that is the way to go out!

I'm officially an old fogey. The first social security check was direct deposited into my pitiful little bank account yesterday. Which reminds me of my youthful ambition to live to be at least a hundred and ten and go out kicking and screaming. Some of my contemporaries have stated a preference to... Sign in to see full entry.

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Gimme that old time religion.

I've heard it said that inside every older person is a young person wondering what the hell happened. I can vouch for that. In my heart and mind I still feel like that young fellow just starting out to attain fame and fortune. But the hair is turning gray, the washboard abs have been replaced by a... Sign in to see full entry.

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Monday, April 7, 2008

Fond Memories

The older I get, the more time I seem to spend reminiscing about the good old days. Like most older gents, I remember the girls being prettier, everything being cheaper, and often talk about how much bigger and better many things were way back in olden times, including me. My son often kids me about... Sign in to see full entry.

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Saturday, April 5, 2008

Knock, knock!

Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just a silly knock, knock joke. I know – another bout of groaners. But it’s been a rough couple of days and I needed something to cheer me up – even if it’s just a few cornball knock, knocks. Knock, knock! Who's there? Old Lady. Old Lady who? I didn't know... Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I confess.

The good-natured grandfatherly non-poet you’ve all come to know over the last four and a half years is really just a brilliant piece of fakery. I’m really a 38-eight-year old divorced mother of four with a penchant for bad boys, dirty jokes and long, involved practical jokes. And if you bought any... Sign in to see full entry.

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About this Blog

Notapoet, the expert on blogging (NOT) and poetry (double NOT) entertains you with his sidesplitting tales of real life that nobody ever seems to laugh at.

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