Guy's blog about life with pets in northern mich.

A few days ago I must have gotten some kind of corrosive liquid on the top part of my thumbs and forefingers, without realizing that I had. A skin color change and an annoying itch made me think that I gotten poison ivy (lower case i) from our firewood. The itch didn’t last long and the purplish color went away quickly, so it wasn’t poison ivy. After a few days the skin began to crack and peel off so I began to remove loose pieces unaware that D.J. was raptly observing this procedure. When he... Sign in to see full entry.

A memorable quote I just heard on TV, “A compact space, with low maintenance is fine ………..IF YOU’RE DEAD!” I guess this means that I should join the “Keeping up with the Jones’s” crowd, but that isn’t gonna happen! I remember working a full time job and two part-time jobs, on alternating nights, to more or less make ends meet. Of course the ends just moved farther apart, and I was already running as fast as I can! That kind of existence would break my spirit and prematurely age me. As attractive... Sign in to see full entry.

Ivy and D.J. appear to be unable to get past their rivalry and resentment over the existence of each other. I thought that eventually sibling rivalry would fade and they would develop a close protective and loving family bond. After around five years of cognitive interaction between the two of them (since D.J. was 1 ½ years old) they usually still hate to be in each other’s company. Sometimes they can play happily together for brief periods but each time, one ends up crying and retaliating for... Sign in to see full entry.

How long would an alarm clock last, next to your bed, that announced “HI HO, Hi HO, it’s off to work you go!” at 4:00AM or 5:00AM, or when you have to awaken? Would it be there more than one day? What are the people thinking, that make these advertisements? The tune sounds happy but the message says, “How much would you love to smash this alarm clock, roll over, go back to sleep and when you wake up, you won’t ever have to go to work again?” And what is with the weird hairdos that look like the... Sign in to see full entry.

A woman went to a psychic for the first time and explained that she was unfamiliar with the whole process. Madame Cora reassured the woman and explained that she usually had only to hold a customer’s hand to make a reading and only in rare cases was it necessary to crystal gaze or read cards to see the future. The agreed upon price was $20.and was paid in advance. The customer confided that she needed to know the future. Seated at the small table, Madame Cora held the other woman’s hand and... Sign in to see full entry.

It occurred to me after reading several blogs in “single life” that women and men hope for the exact opposite things in each other. When a man finds the one woman he has been fervently searching for, he hopes that she will not ever change. Women say that they are searching for Mr. Right but in reality they are looking for “Mr. Moldable, malleable possibility.” Women hope that they can change us to be what they really want and us men hope nothing ever changes our woman. Both sexes are guaranteed... Sign in to see full entry.

I recently got mail that recommended that we should grab for the gusto and damn the consequences. How alluring that sounds! Seriously! How much would you love to inventively, slowly murder by inches, all those who have purposely earned your wrath and expected to get away with it? How many times have you daydreamed of actually making the pass that you would never have the nerve to do in your real life, because in your fantasy life, she says, ”Why did you wait so long to say what you wish was... Sign in to see full entry.

Knowing that the person I am resides in my head; one would think that I’d be popping aspirin like M&Ms. I fear a stroke more than death, because the loss of intellect or the ability to communicate is death of a worse kind. Still I rarely remember to take an aspirin. Is this because I’m denying my own mortality? (almost certainly) Or does my peculiar mind flit from thought to thought so quickly that I have to stop and examine one, if it is to become a memory. And don’t get me started on what loss... Sign in to see full entry.

I repudiate this blog. Don Imus and I were trying a "most outrageous, offensive. blog writing" contest, and I won. When I left for the bathroom, he posted it in my site, out of spite. That guy doesn't have to be so insensitive to the feelings of others and I'm going to have to rethink our friendship. Guy Newly discovered, chiseled in stone, quote: ”I don’t care what your dad told you Jesus, that whole ‘immaculate conception ‘ thing was a scam. Everybody knows that your mom is a slut! And Joe’s... Sign in to see full entry.

Here is part 2 of the story about a very tense day at work. Scroll down to the blog below this one, to read them in the right order. David, Thursday, when that woman was flopping around like a fish on hot sand, I wrote that I really hoped that she didn’t stop breathing. Since my boss would see it, I didn’t say that if she did stop, she would probably be as dead as Saddam and his headless half brother. At the council we got instructions on giving CPR and a refresher class each year. What the... Sign in to see full entry.