Jeff's Journal

Things are getting easier at work. With all the help I've gotten and the fact that I've been here and mostly felt well, I think the worst is over, as long as I stay healthy. I'm afraid I may have embarassed Anita. I paid her some big time compliments today and I'm afraid they may have made her... Sign in to see full entry.

It's been sort of rough. Stayed a little bit late to catch up a little but I ran out of steam after about 20 minutes. I'll keep doing it on days I have the time and energy. I'm not big on working without pay but if it makes my life easier.... Nothing special happened with Anita today except that she... Sign in to see full entry.

I was okay when I got to work this morning and I'm okay now but in between, it was a bit rough. Thought about going home but I decided to tough it out Great conversation with Anita today about our family histories. She had to deal with a lot of abuse. It's amazing she turned out to be a warm caring... Sign in to see full entry.

Got called to personnel again today. They wanted to talk about the way I dress. Something good came out of it though, maybe. I told them it would be easier for me to look good if I could work 9-5:30 instead of 8:30-5. They didn't promise me anything but it could happen. County Fair was fun on... Sign in to see full entry.

Well I've been given an official reprimand. I can't complain, it was accurate but I'm not sure I see what it accomplished I made a mistake, I learned from it, I won't make it again. That would be true with or without the reprimand. Got a chance to talk a little more than usual with Anita today. She... Sign in to see full entry.

Ran out of gas around 4:00, get off at five. I struggled through though. I wasn't fussed at as much today. I knew it would subside soon. Going to the county fair with Lisa. I'd rather be going with Anita but oh well. Made her laugh a few times today, I guess that's all I'm going to get for now. She... Sign in to see full entry.

I'm worn out. I've been thinking of staying late to catch up but I'm always too tired. Probably just as well, I shouldn't be giving my services away anyway. Anita was feeling better today. Yesterday she had an upset stomach and a sore shoulder. I offered to buy her a new stomach and shoulder, but... Sign in to see full entry.

It's gotten to the point where I have to admit that my health is hindering my work more than I realize. If it doesn't improve soon, I may have to go out on disability. The paxil seems to be working so far but it's too soon to tell for sure. I probably would have been fired by now if I worked for a... Sign in to see full entry.

Had trouble sleeping last night, feeling it now. The other symptoms of depression seem to be gone though, which means I'll be going back to work Monday after being out two weeks. I'm thinking about applying for disability. I hate to even think about it, but I can't go on like this. Looks like Anita... Sign in to see full entry.

Two weeks with depression, four days in the hospital against my will. I had know idea they could put you in the hospital against your will unless they were pretty sure you were going to kill somebody. I wasn't going to kill anybody, not even myself. I'm considering legal action against the hospital... Sign in to see full entry.