Jeff's Journal

Kirsten and Anita both seemed thrilled by their gifts. With all of my work they've done due to my illnesses just saying thank you didn't seem to be enough. Getting crazier and crazier about Anita. Gotta be patient though, don't want to pressure her. Sign in to see full entry.

It looks like I'm probably going to go out on disability. I finally had to admit that I can't do my job because of my depression. Days like today when I feel great I can do it but most of the time no. Even when I"m at work sometimes I'm not feeling well and can't concentrate Sign in to see full entry.

That's a bit frustrating.Spent about 45 minutes on my bedroom and it's still a big mess. One step at a time I guess. Left a couple of messages for Anita but she won't call, she never does. Guess I'll have to wait til Tuesday to resume my pursuit. Sign in to see full entry.

That was strange. Finally felt well enough to go to work today. I got there and couldn't find my key card. No problem, there were plenty of people who could let me in. Either folks who were already there or other people coming in at 8:30. I peered into the window but I couldn't see anyone. Oh well I... Sign in to see full entry.

I'm doing a bit better and I think kinda sorta maybe I'll be able to make it in to work tomorrow. People will Think I'm crazy taking the whole week of but Friday, but I won't get paid if I don't go and I'll miss seeing Anita and all the other nice people there. I was never admitted to the hospital.... Sign in to see full entry.

Headed to the hospital in a bit. Gonna be there a few days I reckon. This bout with depression has lasted longer than usual so that's why I'm headed for the psych ward. (That and the food is good, believe it or not.) I'd gladly stay there a month if it would help them figure out how to help me. Sign in to see full entry.

After thinking about it some more, I'm 90 percent sure I'm going to apply for disability or at least look into it. I simply can't do my job with my health the way it is now. Even when I'm there I make mistakes because I'm not able to concentrate. Gotta take some time off and start over when my... Sign in to see full entry.

Boy I was too sick to even do a journal entry yesterday. I've also been too sick to get the medical tests done and then I couldn't find the paperwork. I can do it tomorrow. They need to send me to Finland or someplace to study me. I don't know anyone else who's perfectly fine for two weeks, Then be... Sign in to see full entry.

Well Dr Zhang has ordered some medical tests since there seems to be no reason that either of us could tell why I get sick and why I get better. Maybe these tests will give us a clue. Sign in to see full entry.

Another rough day, but not as rough as some of the days earlier in the week and last week. It's slowly getting better. Anita says she wasn't embarrassed by my compliments. It's a good thing I don't know if I could hold back. She's going to D.C. tomorrow and Lancaster Sunday so I probably won't even... Sign in to see full entry.