Jeff's Journal

Actually feeling a little worse today than yesterday. I never feel well, just varying degrees of sick. Supposed to go back to work tomorrow, very unlikely. Which means I'll have to get more leave bank forms and do it all over again. I was telling Melanie last night, that I really hope that I'm sick... Sign in to see full entry.

I'm supposed to go back to work Tuesday and I can't believe I'm actually thinking about going, even if I'm still sick. I'm crazy. The job made me sick in the first place. I must be utterly bananas to even think about going back before I'm completely well. It's my parents influence I think. They both... Sign in to see full entry.

Feeling a bit better today, could hardly have felt worse yesterday. The weather seems to affect me, the temperature dropped yesterday from the day before and I could really feel. Maybe I need to move to a warmer climate. Then again it was summer when I started getting sick so maybe not. Went to... Sign in to see full entry.

I actually feel a little worse today. I think the colder weather affects me. Peggy gave me her leftover Wellbrutin, I took one this morning, doesn't seem to have done anything so far. Had to pee in the wastebasket last night, the apartment folks have the bathroom all torn up to redo it. Couldn't... Sign in to see full entry.

The beat goes on. I continue to feel no better, no worse. I've forgotten what it feels like to be well. Support group meeting was great as always last night. Peggy is going to give me her leftover Wellbrutin as it didn't work for her. I got even sicker when the pharmacist told me the wellbrutin... Sign in to see full entry.

That's a load off my mind. Dr Ashai filled out the leave bank forms and I faxed them over to the office She estimates that I can return to work part time on the 15th She's put me on Wellbrutin in addition to the prozac. I'm beginning to feel like a drug addict. I'll have to find out how much... Sign in to see full entry.

I really feel like crap today. I'm going in the wrong direction. I think the cooler weather is affecting me today. Changes in the weather tend to make me feel worse. Glad I'm going to the Dr today. I guess maybe Dr Ashai will give me the leave bank forms back today. I'm a little concerned that she... Sign in to see full entry.

I was feeling a bit better this morning but now I'm going downhill again. That's been the pattern, I feel a little better for a few hours, then sink back into where I was before. I have to admit, there's a part of me that's enjoying this. It's great to be off work and still get paid (so far anyway).... Sign in to see full entry.

Feeling about the same today, no better no worse. That seems to be the case for weeks now. Good therapy session yesterday. We talked about anger, how I may have anger in me I didn't know about which may be contributing to the depression. I found out one reason why my paycheck was short. They took... Sign in to see full entry.

It turns out I only got about 2/3rds of a paycheck. Not sure why that is, but I'll get the rest from the leave bank, I'm doing okay right now anyway. One of the benefits of depression is I'm spending less money. Left another message for Dr Ashai about the leave bank paperwork. I think she must be in... Sign in to see full entry.