Jeff's Journal

Was feeling a little stronger this morning but now I'm fading already. Supposed to see my therapist this evening, but snow sleet are predicted. Not that I have far to go but for safety's sake I may have to postpone it if the weather is too bad. Of course he will probably postpone all his... Sign in to see full entry.

Aaack! Didn't get paid today. Not panicking though. I'm getting another form for the Dr to fill out and I have enough to last me 2-3 weeks so I'll probably be okay. Still it's annoying, I've already documented my illness twice I really shouldn't have to do it any more. Don't know why they paid me... Sign in to see full entry.

Feeling relatively well right now, had a nap this afternoon, that always helps If I could sleep more I'd be okay. Feeling well right now means about a four on a scale of 1-10. I haven't been above a four for two months. Drada meeting tonight. That always helps. The friends and family NAMI group is... Sign in to see full entry.

Was feeling a bit better this morning but now I seem to be going back down. That's how it's been, I'll feel better for a few hours every couple of days, then I'm back down again. Wednesday morning I make that biweekly nervous phone call to the bank to see if I've gotten paid. I've been paid up to... Sign in to see full entry.

Oh boy! That's what I keep saying to myself. Oh boy (sigh) somehow it seems to help. Feeling lousy as usual today but still managed to make it to the DA meeting and then here to the library. If people could get inside me and feel how I feel, they would be amazed at how much I manage to do. A lot of... Sign in to see full entry.

Got twenty more greeting card ideas. Now all I have to do is make mock-ups and send them off to AG, hopefully in time for the next review on the 15th. Feeling a little less bad today, but there never seems to be much change. Sign in to see full entry.

Finally heard from American Greetings. They didn't buy anything, but they are inviting me to send more. Guess that kills the notion of never going back to work. However they are supposed to be reassigning me and I of course can still write in my spare time. I'll try sending them to Andrews and... Sign in to see full entry.

Actually felt relatively good for a few hours yesterday, now I feel as lousy as ever. Gonna have to miss the writing group tonight, I'm just not up to it. Still no word from American Greetings, I sent another email a few minutes ago. Mark must have quit, been fired or died. Not up to writing any... Sign in to see full entry.

Feeling equally lousy today. At least I'm consistent. Drada meeting was great as always last night. That's been the best part of becoming depressed. I'm concerned about S. She hasn't been at the last couple meetings and I haven't seen her in the library either. Chatted with Megan a little after the... Sign in to see full entry.

Dr. Ashai increased my medication and wants to see me again in two weeks. When your shrink increases your medicine and wants to see you more often, that's not a good sign. Been talking a little more with Melanie about the possibility of dating. We're concerned that it may mess up our friendship, but... Sign in to see full entry.