Jeff's Journal

No real change in my conditon. There never seems to be much change. I couldn't get myself out until almost 1 O'clock today. Sunday Drada was good yesterday. Getting to know those folks a little better. I got to know the Tuesday folks faster because I started there earlier and they meet every week.... Sign in to see full entry.

Feeling relatively good right now--maybe a 5 on a scale of ten, which is the highest I've been the last three months. It's because I took a nap in the car--sleeping seems to help. Sometimes I think I sleep better in the car than I do at home. The small Sunday drada meeting is today. It's been four... Sign in to see full entry.

Three people have told me today that I look better. Which is odd because I don't feel any better. On the other hand I have heard that with depression other people sometimes notice improvement before the depressed person does. That's what happened the first time I had depression six years ago. Went... Sign in to see full entry.

Gotta pat myself on the back. Went to the gym and walked 3 miles on the track. That's a decent amount of exercise for a healthy person, as sick as I am, it was heroic. So much for people who say I'm not pushing myself hard enough. Very few people in the shape I'm in would have done that. Course I... Sign in to see full entry.

I feel about as bad as ever today. I'm about a 2 on Dr Ashai's 1-10 scale. Pretty good session with the therapist today. Sometimes I feel like the therapy isn't helping much, but it's probably helping more than I realize. Melanie was a bit concerned when I said I was aroused lying on the bed... Sign in to see full entry.

I felt better yesterday, several people said I looked and sounded better but today--crash. Couldn't even get myself out of the apartment til almost two o'clock. Slept most of the morning. Drada meeting was great as always. I'm feeling closer to Nona but she's moving back to Delaware in a couple of... Sign in to see full entry.

Mom says I'm sounding better. Thing is I really don't feel any better. I understand though that often with depression other people notice improvement before the depressed person does. That happened to me last time I was depressed. On the other hand there have been several times the last few months... Sign in to see full entry.

It's 2006 but I still feel the same as I did in 2005. Crappy. I guess I just have to be patient I've only been on effexor for two weeks, they say it takes four weeks to kick in. Reminds me of that prayer. God grant me patience---and I want it right now. Emailed Mark at American Greetings to let him... Sign in to see full entry.

Feeling even lousier than usual today. Took me 3 hours to eat dress and get out of the apartment. Went to the gym last night. Didn't do much but I did what I could. Looks like Melanie and I are definitely going to try dating each other. I work fast don't I. I meet a woman and just like that 12 years... Sign in to see full entry.

Feeling about the same, still kind of weak. Make that very weak. No chest pains or gagging spells today though, so maybe that's progress. Last night I actually found the strength to microwave dinner. Shows how bad off I've been when being strong enough to throw something in the mircowave is... Sign in to see full entry.