Warped thoughts

By food4thought - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Half baked thoughts

Like a baker up to his ears in dough, sometimes my mind just runneth over. Usually, I do not post these half-baked ideas, but today since the week is half over, I thought, why not? So without further ado or even further undo, here goes. Siegfried and Roy were discussing their mishap from a time ago and they were wondering why their insurance didn’t cover the accident. So they called their agent to find out why. The agent simply replied, “well, your accident wasn’t covered.” The tiger taming duo... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by food4thought at 5:20 PM | add or view comments (12) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, May 14, 2007

A blank mind is like…

A mind with nothing in it. Except no mind has nothing in it. Just sometimes one cannot get one’s mind to co-operate, like now when I really want to write a blog post thing. What I really want to do is go to bed, but it is too early. If I go to bed now, then I will wake up just in time to start the work day all over again. Of course, with a full night’s sleep it probably would be easier to cope with, but hey, whoever said I had to be smart about things anyway? So, anyway, here I sit at the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by food4thought at 10:14 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Science Funny to me

Does time exist? I hope not, that way all this blogging wouldn’t be a waste of time, would it? How much does the Internet Weigh? Now there’s a heavy question if I ever heard one. One thing, it weighs a lot more since they invented spam. You may have guessed by now, I just received the June issue of Discover Magazine in the mail, and these are actual contents listed on the cover. Really! Other mesmerizing stories, Is There A Gay Gene? Turns out there just may be, and darned if it isn’t pink! All... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by food4thought at 8:14 PM | add or view comments (9) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

What’s in a name?

Here on Blogit, we can change our names when we get tired of them. In real life, that would cause havoc, but here in unreal life, it is part of the fun. I have seen lots of bloggers do that. I will be reading along and think, “gee, this person has a familiar style” then check the nickname history and sure enough, it is an old friend or maybe an old fiend. I thought long and hard about my name when I joined, I wanted to use The Red Threat, but after more thought I figured some might not get the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by food4thought at 9:06 PM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, May 4, 2007

In recognition of cognition

What does it all mean? Darned if I know. It’s Friday night after all and after all the week, are we supposed to be thinking at all? That’s why I like to sit back, loosen my tie (which is on a hanger in the closet, I never wear one) put my feet away and just let my gray matter wander. Whither will it wander? Perhaps to the new planet that has been discovered that should have the same temperatures as Earth, meaning of course, even though it is some 120 light years away scientists think it may just... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by food4thought at 6:55 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, May 3, 2007

If you can’t say anything nice…

Don’t write humor. Humor, after all, is basically politically incorrect. I mean one is making fun of someone or something, either way, that someone or that something will probably not be laughing with you. Take little Johnny for instance. Do you suppose for one minute a kid with the reputed mind of little Johnny would for one instant let you get by with constantly finding humor with his take on life? Or blondes? Of course we can make fun of them because, basically according to every blonde joke... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by food4thought at 8:43 PM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Captain’s log

Spice, the final frontier. Er, captain, I believe it should factually and logically be, Space, the final frontier! Spock, areyoutrying to tell……..me………howto make entries intomyspacelog? No, captain, I haven’t seen your myspace log, but I’m certain it will include allusions to your greatness and the fact your strange diction originated when you were in space school, doing Shakespeare on the side for pocket change. Yes, Spock, to have pocket change or nottohave……pocketchange,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by food4thought at 9:48 PM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, April 28, 2007

What’s funny today?

Glow ball warming. I heard about it on the radio. Those little glow balls seem to be getting warmer all the time and threaten to warm the ocean and melt the ice caps. Well, people should just stop throwing those glow balls in the ocean, problem solved, geez, do I have to do all the thinking? Wait a minute, my wife is saying something to me. Dear me, it seems I have mislead myself, it wasn’t glow balls at all, it was global, sorry about that. By the way, I think were screwed, I looked in the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by food4thought at 10:44 PM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, April 27, 2007

Why they love us in France.

Maybe it was the first American to view the Eiffel Tower. He took a long look at it, then exclaimed, “Dang, it’s pretty tall all right, but it’ll look really good when y’all git the sidin’ put on!” Sign in to see full entry.

posted by food4thought at 6:42 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Sounds like an old joke…

A Nun, a Priest and Richard Simmons go into a bar. Sounds odd, I know, but they were responding to a request from the bartender. Upon entering the bar, they saw a most strange sight. It seems the Devil, Beelzebub, The Dark Lord, yes Satan himself was standing at the bar, cloven hooves and all. He seemed to be in a mood as he glared at the three. The Priest shuddered and clutched his cross tightly. The Nun hid behind the Priest. Richard Simmons strode up to the Dark One and ordered, “Drop and... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by food4thought at 9:45 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

May 2025
SMTWTFS
27282930123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
1234567
Apr | Newest | Jun
About this Blog

Funny? Strange? Weird? It's all here. Generally the writing syle will be warp 11. Going boldly where no thoughts have (or maybe should) ever been before. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll scratch you head and wonder why? It's all in fun and maybe an occasional pun. All original, I only tell jokes at parties.

Recent Entries
People

Headlines (What is this?)