Old News (The Unbearable Lightness Of Blogging)

Something very disturbing happened to me today... I was sitting on a couch, watching "Teletubbies" (there was nothing else on); absentmindedly took a sip of coffee... and swallowed a hair. So, I immediately started gagging and ran into the bathroom screaming, "I swallowed a hair! I swallowed a... Sign in to see full entry.

Sooo, I decided to try and bake a chocolate fruitcake. I was hoping to impress my boyfriend's family with a stunning display of domesticity. Didn't quite work out that way, though. Now, I had always been under the assumption that the amounts listed in recipes were only " suggested minimums ". And... Sign in to see full entry.

I cannot stress this enough! Do not, under any circumstances, go see "Slither". Because trust me, you will regret it if you do. Now, at first blush, Slither is essentially just a lame run-of-the-mill zombie movie. However, there's a twist: these zombies aren't created by nuclear radiation or toxic... Sign in to see full entry.

Sooo, I'm sitting in the food court at the mall, waiting patiently for my friends to return with our lunches. Me being unable to help them, of course (what with my injuries and all). At any rate, the cleaning guy comes around with his little bottle of spray and his filthy towel to wipe the tables. I... Sign in to see full entry.

One positive aspect of being "laid up" (as I am) is that you suddenly find yourself in possession of an abundance of free time. Here's who I've been spending it with: Writer Pages Read Time Share Maureen Dowd 22 0.19 % Roger Ebert 173 1.48 % The New Yorker 265 2.27 % Joyce Carol Oates 189 1.62 %... Sign in to see full entry.

Sooo, for the time being, I'm forced to write with my left (or "unnatural") hand. Thus, bear with me if I make any reely obivious mistooks. My boyfriend suggested I try using my right foot, instead. This seemed to make some sense, seeing as I am quite adept at picking up and eating sweet & sour pork... Sign in to see full entry.

CINDERELLA Species: African Flower Mantis Size: 7 2/3 inches (approx.) Diet: crickets, grasshoppers Killing Method: She basically imitates an orchid, until her prey draws close enough for a "hug". At which point, she proceeds to devour the victim alive. Now, I know that sounds ghastly, however keep... Sign in to see full entry.

Okay, I've come to the conclusion that to do my "blender story" justice, it must be told in three distinct parts... most likely a beginning, a middle and an end (though, I haven't completely decided on that yet). At any rate, while I finish writing it out (which isn't easy with only one hand), I... Sign in to see full entry.

Okay, I'm going to have to keep this post short and sweet tonight. I was visiting a friend's house earlier, and there was a minor "incident". Nothing too serious, really. It's just that on the way home, we had to make a quick stop at the emergency room. Who knew a blender would explode like that? At... Sign in to see full entry.

I'll always love the movies, but I'm beginning to hate going to them. And no, it's not the 30 minutes of commercials you're forced to sit through now because the theater owner is trying to wring every last dime out of his investment. Although, I have a problem with that, too. The bigger issue,... Sign in to see full entry.