Old News (The Unbearable Lightness Of Blogging)

~ I think I've finally decided on the April Fool's joke I'll be playing on my boyfriend this year. I'm going to tell him I missed my period. You see, our deepest fear is that somehow, someway a horrible accident will occur and we will be blessed with life's greatest miracle. I remember asking my... Sign in to see full entry.

I think the title is pretty much self-explanatory, so: 10. 9 9. 10 8. 4 7. 6 6. 8 5. 5 4. 2 3. 3 2. 1 1. 7 Sign in to see full entry.

Note: "Body Worlds" is an anatomical exhibition of real human corpses posed in clever and amusing ways to illustrate the human body at work and play. These photos may not be suitable for all audiences (click on thumbnails for larger view): Q: How do people generally react when viewing actual... Sign in to see full entry.

Allow me to set the scene: I had just come out of the shower, and I'm blow drying my hair. When, all of a sudden, the dryer shuts off and everything goes black! And, I mean, black black! Pitch black. Like, Manute Bol black. At any rate, my mother comes flying out of her room and, despite barely even... Sign in to see full entry.

Note: All of these are actual "achievements" officially listed in the Guinness Book of World Records. However, some of the wording could have been better... so, now it is. 10. FASTEST TIME TO TYPE A MILLION (1998): Les Stewart typed out each number from "one" to "one million" in words... and, it... Sign in to see full entry.

Last night, it occurred to me that, despite my prominent blog, most of you really don't know me very well at all. Therefore, in the interest of "breeding contempt": ~ At home, we always eat on paper plates, using disposable plastic forks... only bringing actual dinnerware out, when company is over.... Sign in to see full entry.

~ Each member should have the ability to hide his or her rank and earnings from public view. Therefore, never again would a new member be forced to suffer the embarrassment and stigma associated with being ranked 1,114th or having only earned two cents. ~ Spellcheck should be automatically activated... Sign in to see full entry.

Note: a fetish is defined as " a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and is necessary for sexual gratification." 10. Coulrophilia: arousal from exposing oneself to a children's party clown. 9. Oculolinctus: arousal from licking another person's eyeball. 8.... Sign in to see full entry.

I know it seems irrational, but for as long as I can remember, I was always afraid of my grandmother. I'm not sure exactly when this started or why. Though, perhaps it was that one time, when all of us (the whole family) went to her house for Sunday dinner, and Gramma killed my dad. Sincerely, Katia... Sign in to see full entry.

5. The first Daily Show style Oscar smear campaign "commercial" was only mildly amusing. Needless to say, it didn't get any funnier the next four times the joke was repeated. Or, for that matter, when it was brought back yet again later in the show. 4. The less that's said about Ben Stiller's green... Sign in to see full entry.