Old News (The Unbearable Lightness Of Blogging)

And by "new", I mean "old". However, it is new to me... so, shut up. At any rate, it's a photo of (supposedly) a murdered child's ghost peering through a kitchen window. Now, generally speaking, I'm quite skeptical of such claims. Yet even I must admit that if this is a fake, it's the most... Sign in to see full entry.

~ She'll be watching all ten hours of live NFL Draft coverage with her boyfriend, that's what. Now, you're probably saying to yourself, "Hmmn, sounds really boring." However, I'm quite excited, actually. For you see, James had never let me come over on draft day before, because he said I "talked too... Sign in to see full entry.

Sooooo the other day, I stagger home around 3 AM, totally bushed. In fact, I just barely even make it to my bed before collapsing. No sooner do I start to drift off into dreamland, when an absolutely horrid stench comes wafting in and completely fills the room. My cat has apparently "done some... Sign in to see full entry.

~ Soooo, I woke up today in far worse shape than yesterday (SEE symptoms chart below). My mother says, "See, this is what happens when you get older. Your body starts to break down." I was, like, "Yeah, whatever. Just make sure that english muffin is properly toasted this time." Then, Michelle (my... Sign in to see full entry.

Okay, there is really no delicate way to word this, so I'll just come out with it: My cat takes the biggest dumps. I mean, they are practically "human sized"; just these absolutely enormous "logs". It's, like, super repulsive. Oh, and after a particularly satisfying BM, Maxwell (that's his name)... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, I've been in therapy for a while now. I'm not crazy or anything; I merely enjoy the opportunity it provides to drone on endlessly without interruption. I pretty much just talk about basic stuff, nothing of any great significance, really. Relationship problems, my recent hand injury, my... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, I took a vote of my (remaining) friends and we unanimously agree that these were the "highlights" of my birthday party on Saturday: ~ Sadly, it rained nonstop the entire day (and not a slight drizzle, either; it was like a monsoon or something), thus, we ultimately had to cancel all the... Sign in to see full entry.

Do "People" lists really matter? Because I say, "No." However, some say, "Yes." While still others say, "Um, I don't know... maybe." So, what say you? Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, I've spent the first few hours of my 21st year, alone and in my underwear, eating "Cinnamon Toast Crunch" and watching "Cheap Seats". Plus, while suffering from severe B.O. (I'll explain the relevance of that last part in a second.) You see, last night, my mother informed me that my birthday... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, I only have one day to go before my birthday (well, three days before the actual party) and thus, very little time left to have to pretend to be nice to these people. I don't think I'm going to make it. While my entire family is infuriating, it's my brother's girlfriend, Michelle, who... Sign in to see full entry.