Thinking Out Loud.

By CunningLinguist - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Opinion

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Insanity As a Lifestyle Choice

Did you ever stop to think that maybe mental illness is the way to go? I mean, you want to avoid the straitjacket, but other than that, it seems like a pretty good deal. You are totally free to lick the wallpaper or have conversations with lawn gnomes. Nobody expects anything from somebody who goes... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 12, 2008

CHAOS: It's Not Just A Theory Anymore

Can we get a timeout from all these natural disasters please? Seriously, whoever's at the controls - enough already. The tornadoes couldn't even wait for tornado season to start this year. They're all over the place, and not one house has landed on Hillery yet. (Not that I would wish for such a... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Confessions of a Cereal Eater

Don't you hate the way the roof of your mouth gets carved up when you eat certain kinds of cereals? The rest of the day your tongue rubs up against the sandpaper textured flesh of your gums. Captain Crunch is the worst offender. That cereal should be outlawed. Little corn flavored rocks covered with... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Superdelicate - An Ode to the Clitoris

The clitoris excites me. I realize a lot of people feel that way about this, the epic epicenter of sensuality, but it excites me for another reason to go along with the obvious. Every body part has a purpose, a function, a worker bee duty and obligation. We are packed with vital organs that live up... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Adaptation

You have to play the hand you're dealt. Deal with any blow you're dealt, whether the unfortunate kind or the kind below the belt. Have faith that your second wind is gonna kick in. Don't break your stride and don't break wind. When life gives you lemons, get implants. Be versatile, if you must be... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Life According to Dim

I'm fed up with the concept of role models. You know who my roll model is? The Pillsbury Doughboy. Tee hee! Why do we all look around for somebody to imitate? Adults look to characters on television to dress like and model their whole personality after. One American archetype that has been way... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

This Is Old, And I Might Disagree With Me Now

Kids are getting robbed out of an essential requirement for the nourishment of their souls. First, let me state for the record that I'm only a thirtysomething (or something), so I'll still have a valid opinion for at least another year or two - in my opinion. I don't want to sound like an old man,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

I Swear This Was Among the Headlines at Yahoo News

"A First For Saudis: Mozart Performed Publicly and Women Come" Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Hellacious Halitosis

Breath is so bad, when he yawns his teeth duck. 9 out of 10 dentists refuse to see him. Can't tell if he should be using mouthwash or toilet paper. Sign in to see full entry.

Today I'm Going to Take You Back.

For the more animated among us, I've decided to talk about important things today. Old school cartoons. We were formed in our formative years by these hallucinogenic-inspired, two-dimensional doodles. Not to mention the mega merchandising spawned from these far out cartoon friends. Remember Glo... Sign in to see full entry.

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