Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Really...Wow!

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice from... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Be careful what you expect...

A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that... Sign in to see full entry.

Applying what you learn

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: "What is the usual tip?" "Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."... Sign in to see full entry.

Ahhh those college days

Freshman: Is never in bed past noon. Senior: Is never out of bed before noon. Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut. Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend. Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall. Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie... Sign in to see full entry.

LOOOL Out of mouth of babes...

The little farm boy storms out of the house, mad about being ordered to do his chores. In the barnyard, he kicks the rooster. Near the barn, he kicked a hog. In the corral, he kicked the family's milk cow. His mother saw all this and stormed out after him. "I saw you kick that rooster; just for... Sign in to see full entry.

Kids bragging rights

Three boys were bragging about their fathers. The first one said, "My father runs so fast he can fire an arrow, start running, and get there before the arrow!" The second one said, "That's nothing! My father can shoot a gun, start running, and get there before the bullet!" The third boy just smiled.... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

some writer's humor

1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. 3. Employ the vernacular. 4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. 6. Remember to never split an infinitive. 7. Contractions aren't necessary. 8.... Sign in to see full entry.

Easy test to qualify

A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers' license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He... Sign in to see full entry.

Recognize him?

Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? - Women working at 900 numbers. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner? - In the pages of a romance novel. What do... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Lawyer giving scrooge a run for his money!

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer, so a volunteer was sent to solicit his donation. "Sir, you have a successful law practice. You must be worth millions. Surely you could give back a little to your community through The... Sign in to see full entry.