Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Everybody for himself

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "I don't have to,"... Sign in to see full entry.

The dynamic duo not as smart as they think they are

Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that. After Little Johnny???s first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how... Sign in to see full entry.

I need a job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Play it again sam...

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.... Sign in to see full entry.

Ride blondie ride

Once, a blonde decided to ride a horse. She was riding quite pleasantly on a trail in a field until the horse speeded up. He was going faster and faster, and soon she felt herself slipping. Her head was just about to hit the ground... Then the Wal Mart manager ran to turn off the horsey ride. Sign in to see full entry.

Just following the directions!

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a bottom deodorant. "Sorry, we don't sell bottom deodorant" the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing. "But I always buy it here", the blonde says. "I bought one last month". Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, " I... Sign in to see full entry.

I can't sleep!

An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep." "I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Professors' reply to first day antics

1. Bring a CPR dummy to class and announce that it will be the teaching assistant for the semester. Assign it an office and office hours. 2. Point the overhead projector at the class. Demand each student's name, rank, and serial number. 3. Tell students that you'll fail them if they cheat on exams... Sign in to see full entry.

Give them an opportunity...

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars... Sign in to see full entry.

What did you learn in college?

1. Quarters are like gold. 2. Be creative in the dining hall. 3. Flipflops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc. 4. You will never find so many excuses for a bucket. 5. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night. 6. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry's, Ho-Hos and... Sign in to see full entry.