Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

It's time for that talk...

Little Johnny's father asked him, "Do you know about the birds and the bees?" "I don't want to know!" little Johnny said, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong. "Oh dad," Little Johnny sobbed, "At age six I got the 'there's no Santa' speech. At age seven I got... Sign in to see full entry.

Whisper

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper'." The following Sunday,... Sign in to see full entry.

Air Conditioning

Someone posted this on fb..... A patron at a restaurant was continually bothering the waiter about the air conditioning: first he would ask for the air conditioning to be turned up because it was too hot, then he would ask it be turned down because it was to cold; this went on for about a half an... Sign in to see full entry.

Spoiled

A mother, father and young son are visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother, "What's that?" "That's the elephant's tail," she replies. "No, under the tail," says the youngster. The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, nothing."... Sign in to see full entry.

Can't hide doing the deed!

Bill and Linda decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Need to stay awake in religion class

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and... Sign in to see full entry.

Ideas for new children's books

HERE ARE SOME CHILDREN BOOKS THAT WILL NEVER BE PUBLISHED: --------------------------------------- "You Were an Accident" "Strangers Have the Best Candy" "The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!" "When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know... Sign in to see full entry.

Nudist Vacation

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says..."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says..."the bigger they are, the dumber... Sign in to see full entry.

All I want for Christmas

A little girl goes to visit Santa at the Mall. When it is her turn she sits on his lap and Santa says "Have you been good?" Little Girl, "Yes, Santa, very good." Santa, "What would you like for Christmas?" Little Girl, "I want Barbie and G. I. Joe." Santa, "G. I. Joe? Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. A nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE……God is watching." Further along the line, at the other end of the table, was a large pile of... Sign in to see full entry.