Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, October 15, 2012

Man's Best Friend

The Blind And The Dog John was waiting to cross the street when a blind man approached with his guide-dog. The traffic sign turned green and instead of helping its master to cross, the dog raised its rear leg and peed on the shoes of the blind man. Observing that, the blind man reached into his... Sign in to see full entry.

Barnyard Relatives

A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?" "Yes," his wife replied.... Sign in to see full entry.

Barnyard Relatives

A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?" "Yes," his wife replied.... Sign in to see full entry.

Eye have a spelling chequer

It came with my pea sea It plainly marks four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee four two long And eye can put the error rite Its rarely... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Never underestimate the intelligence of your wife!

A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNI NG WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP... Sign in to see full entry.

Wedding Anniversary A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got... Sign in to see full entry.

Why aren't you listening to me?

Two police officers saw this old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman. As... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Technology problems

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a... Sign in to see full entry.

Are you in this hall of fame?

he 2000 Darwin awards! (15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to spit farther than his buddy. His plan was to hurl himself towards a metal guardrail while expectorating, in order to add momentum to his saliva. In a... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Dictionary for women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the... Sign in to see full entry.

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