Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Calming nerves

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 9:01 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, March 22, 2013

confession

A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. "Father O???Malley," he says, "my name is Emil Cohen. I???m seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I???m currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:40 PM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

One Good Deed

An elderly gentleman is standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter addresses him: "All you need to have done is one good deed, and we will allow you passage into heaven" The old man says, �No problem,� as he recounts to St. Peter that he once stopped at an intersection and saw a motorcycle gang... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:02 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

One Good Deed

An elderly gentleman is standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter addresses him: "All you need to have done is one good deed, and we will allow you passage into heaven" The old man says, �No problem,� as he recounts to St. Peter that he once stopped at an intersection and saw a motorcycle gang... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:02 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Oh Joey!

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'. "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 7:58 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Who Is Listening

During the first year of marriage, the husband speaks and the wife hears. During the second year, the wife speaks and the husband hears. During the third year both of them speak, but only the neighbours hear. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:16 AM | add or view comments (16) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

The Last Word

A man to his friend: "At my house I always say the last word". His friend: "What is the word?" The man: "I am sorry. Forgive me" Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:14 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Out Of The Car

(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:11 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Prize pig

A farmer tired of always losing at the county fair decided to take matters into his own hands. He stuck a cork up his pig's back side. The pig became fatter and fatter. Along came the county fair. He placed first prize. It was time to pull the cork. The next day in the hospital the 3 farmers were... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:01 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

let your light shine

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, another patient was in the room, hanging from the ceiling by his feet.The doctor asked his patient... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:26 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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