Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Got a live one!

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses. "Tsk Tsk!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can... Sign in to see full entry.

free drinks

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill." So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then... Sign in to see full entry.

Hairy Armpits

A drunk is sitting at a bar when a woman stands behind him and raises her arm really high to get the bartender's attention. She has very hairy armpits. The drunk sees this and yells at the bartender, "Get the ballerina a drink." She gets her drink and goes away. Later she returns and raises her arm... Sign in to see full entry.

hairy armpits

Hairy Armpits A drunk is sitting at a bar when a woman stands behind him and raises her arm really high to get the bartender's attention. She has very hairy armpits. The drunk sees this and yells at the bartender, "Get the ballerina a drink." She gets her drink and goes away. Later she returns and... Sign in to see full entry.

A Cheap Bar

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One penny?!" exclaimed the guy. The barman replied, "Yes." So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Snoring Remedy

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can???t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah, right," she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual.... Sign in to see full entry.

Vampires

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep. However, the bats... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Jokes about the differences between Aussies, Brits, Americans and Candadian

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club. Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves. Canadians: Believe that that is the government's job. Aussies: Dislike being mistaken... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO....,' answered the blonde.... Sign in to see full entry.

And this is how the fight started...

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror... She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." Sign in to see full entry.