Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, March 22, 2013

One Good Deed

An elderly gentleman is standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter addresses him: "All you need to have done is one good deed, and we will allow you passage into heaven" The old man says, �No problem,� as he recounts to St. Peter that he once stopped at an intersection and saw a motorcycle gang... Sign in to see full entry.

Oh Joey!

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'. "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Who Is Listening

During the first year of marriage, the husband speaks and the wife hears. During the second year, the wife speaks and the husband hears. During the third year both of them speak, but only the neighbours hear. Sign in to see full entry.

The Last Word

A man to his friend: "At my house I always say the last word". His friend: "What is the word?" The man: "I am sorry. Forgive me" Sign in to see full entry.

Out Of The Car

(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Prize pig

A farmer tired of always losing at the county fair decided to take matters into his own hands. He stuck a cork up his pig's back side. The pig became fatter and fatter. Along came the county fair. He placed first prize. It was time to pull the cork. The next day in the hospital the 3 farmers were... Sign in to see full entry.

let your light shine

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, another patient was in the room, hanging from the ceiling by his feet.The doctor asked his patient... Sign in to see full entry.

Old Marriage

The ninety-year-old man was in for his checkup when the doctor learned he was about to marry an eighteen-year-old girl. "Now, Mr. Jenkins", the doctor warned, "you should know that when a man your age marries an eighteen-year-old girl, somebody could get hurt". The old man shrugged, "If she dies,... Sign in to see full entry.

wrong!

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement. "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve. "But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Cough Treatment

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle... Sign in to see full entry.