Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Another Aussie Joke

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for Six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look... Sign in to see full entry.

hearing aid

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty." Sign in to see full entry.

Investing

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it... Sign in to see full entry.

Waiting on the bus

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!'. The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!" Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

retirement home

A man at a retirement home was walking around with his zipper down holding his penis. A young nurse says "Why are you doing that?" He replies, "It died today." "Oh that's terrible!", the nurse replied The next day the man has his penis hanging outside of his pants again. The same nurse says, "I... Sign in to see full entry.

kiwis

This one is for you kabu... A bloke walks into a bar in New Zealand and orders a shandy. All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see another Australian visitor. The barman says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?" The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada." The bartender says, "What do... Sign in to see full entry.

Howd he get that wooden leg?

A man is travelling across the country and comes upon a pig with a wooden leg. This rouses his curiousity so he finds the owner of the pig and asks "How'd your pig get a wooden leg?" The farmer replies "Why, this pig is really something else. One day, I got trapped under my tractor. My little fella... Sign in to see full entry.

crash

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Oh Gross me out!

A man and his new bride check into a hotel, looking forward to their honeymoon. After they go upstairs the desk clerks looks up and sees the man walking downstairs with his tackle box and fishing pole. He walks out the door and is gone until nearly midnight. Before dawn the next morning, once again... Sign in to see full entry.

One opinion only please

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man,... Sign in to see full entry.