Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, May 4, 2013

man vs woman at atm

Men & Women At An ATM HIM: Pull up to ATM Insert card Enter PIN number and account Take cash, card and receipt Go! HER: Pull up to ATM Check makeup in rearview mirror Shut off engine Put keys in purse Get out of car b/c you're too far from machine Hunt for card in purse Insert card Hunt in purse for... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Response to those who believe the joke was about me

Let me clarify. This is my joke blog. I always preface anything that is true to let you know that. I didn't preface or introduce it so that means it is just a joke. Apparently everybody believes that I got naked at my bosses house for my bday.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....just a joke. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Happy Birthday!

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I... Sign in to see full entry.

An Accountant

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads: Dear Wife (that's what he called her): I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter... Sign in to see full entry.

Badddddddddddd

The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You aren't that good in bed either!" By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered... Sign in to see full entry.

A widow

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. One day she picked up the urn he was in and poured him out on the counter. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

For all the gardeners...

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen,"What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The... Sign in to see full entry.

Abstaining

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor goes... Sign in to see full entry.

Up the chimney

Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe. She says "Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you'd like to come into my bedroom." Santa responds "Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know." The... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Doctor Doctor tell me the news

Doctor Joe had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice, within himself, trying to reassure him. "Joe, don't... Sign in to see full entry.