Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Brains

A man went to the doctor's. The doctor came in and said, "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news." The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out front and a... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

mistresses

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!" "Oh," replies the husband, "that was... Sign in to see full entry.

signs of pms

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS Everyone around you has an attitude problem. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper... Sign in to see full entry.

man vs woman at atm

Men & Women At An ATM HIM: Pull up to ATM Insert card Enter PIN number and account Take cash, card and receipt Go! HER: Pull up to ATM Check makeup in rearview mirror Shut off engine Put keys in purse Get out of car b/c you're too far from machine Hunt for card in purse Insert card Hunt in purse for... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Response to those who believe the joke was about me

Let me clarify. This is my joke blog. I always preface anything that is true to let you know that. I didn't preface or introduce it so that means it is just a joke. Apparently everybody believes that I got naked at my bosses house for my bday.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....just a joke. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Happy Birthday!

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I... Sign in to see full entry.

An Accountant

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads: Dear Wife (that's what he called her): I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter... Sign in to see full entry.

Badddddddddddd

The doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast. As he stormed out of the house, the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You aren't that good in bed either!" By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered... Sign in to see full entry.

A widow

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. One day she picked up the urn he was in and poured him out on the counter. Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

For all the gardeners...

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen,"What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The... Sign in to see full entry.