Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Sayings on Women's Ts

Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. Guys have feelings too. But like... who cares? I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them. Next mood swing: 6 minutes. I hate everybody, and you're next. Please don't make me kill you. And your point is... I used to be schizophrenic,... Sign in to see full entry.

better than an egg

If you think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once.You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all... The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother. So cheer... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

3 defs of good date

These three women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates and all came home at about the same time. The first one said, "You know you've been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up." The second one said, "No, you know you've been on a good date when you... Sign in to see full entry.

I am woman!

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam I don't brag to my buddies about my erections I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown And I know how to put the damned toilet seat down! I won't... Sign in to see full entry.

No more beans for me!

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to... Sign in to see full entry.

new fairy tale

Once upon a time a beautiful independent self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with mum,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Awww honey

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, He says,"Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says,"Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to... Sign in to see full entry.

Yikes!

Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways. The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into... Sign in to see full entry.

gassy

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office." The doctor says, "I see, take these... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Great deal

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly... Sign in to see full entry.