Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, May 6, 2013

Better rules

A macho man married a beautiful young thing. On their honeymoon, he laid down the rules. "Now here's the way it's gonna be: I'll go hunting or fishing or card-playing or drinking with my buddies anytime I want to, with no hassle from you. And I'll come home anytime I want to, with no hassle from... Sign in to see full entry.

Time of death

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital... Sign in to see full entry.

Too attentive

A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Excuses

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change." Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to... Sign in to see full entry.

Barbies

Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says "Which Barbie?"... Sign in to see full entry.

Brains

A man went to the doctor's. The doctor came in and said, "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news." The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out front and a... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

mistresses

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!" "Oh," replies the husband, "that was... Sign in to see full entry.

signs of pms

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS Everyone around you has an attitude problem. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper... Sign in to see full entry.

man vs woman at atm

Men & Women At An ATM HIM: Pull up to ATM Insert card Enter PIN number and account Take cash, card and receipt Go! HER: Pull up to ATM Check makeup in rearview mirror Shut off engine Put keys in purse Get out of car b/c you're too far from machine Hunt for card in purse Insert card Hunt in purse for... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Response to those who believe the joke was about me

Let me clarify. This is my joke blog. I always preface anything that is true to let you know that. I didn't preface or introduce it so that means it is just a joke. Apparently everybody believes that I got naked at my bosses house for my bday.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....just a joke. Sign in to see full entry.