Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Hermaphrodite

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong??" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit... Sign in to see full entry.

too much honesty

The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I... Sign in to see full entry.

New use for birth control pills

A woman asked her doctor for birth control pills. "Ma'am, how old are you?" "I'm 75." "What possible need do you have for birth control pills?" "They help me sleep better." The doctor looked perplexed. "Just how do birth control pills help you sleep?" "I sneak them into my granddaughter's orange... Sign in to see full entry.

Take the HIGH road

The 50-ish wife comes up to her husband and says, 'So, Harvey. What do you think of my new bra-less look? Does it make me look younger?' 'It does!' Harvey says. 'It pulls all the wrinkles out of your face!' Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

church ladies

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This d river is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Beast

A PETA protester screamed at the woman in a fur coat, "Don't you realize some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that fur?" Unfazed, the woman replied, "That's true, but think of what I had to go through! I dated him!" Sign in to see full entry.

virgin?

"Will I be the first to do this to you?" whispered the new groom to his new bride. "What a silly question," giggled the girl. "I don't even know what position you want to use yet." Sign in to see full entry.

Hope she didn't hear it!

After completing his examination, the doctor took her husband aside. "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither, Doc." Said the husband. "But she's a good cook and the kids seem to like her." Sign in to see full entry.

Hanging low

Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to... Sign in to see full entry.

Gotta stop asking!

An elderly couple is sharing an intimate dinner in honor of their 75th wedding anniversary. The man says softly, "Dear, there is something I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our sixth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now, let me assure you these 75 years have been... Sign in to see full entry.