Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, May 22, 2014

toiletseats

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat... Sign in to see full entry.

guardian angel

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.... Sign in to see full entry.

techie talk

Looking over the log book kept by the computer support staff at my office, I noticed several entries stating the problem was PICNIC. I asked one of the technicians what PICNIC meant. He laughed as he told me it meant "Problem In Chair, Not In Computer" Sign in to see full entry.

blonde calculating

A blonde called her new boss to explain there was a problem with her check. In checking the timesheets the boss noticed that she had not punched in since her first day of orientation. He tried to explain that her check was right since she had only worked the one day for the company. The blonde went... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

writers!

Three absent minded writers were busy discussing a writing project on the platform, while waiting for the train. The announcement was made, and the train finally arrived. There was complete panic among eagerly waiting passengers as the train made its way to the platform. Passengers rushed inside the... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

pictures

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, "There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or “That’s Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 19, 2014

blondes everywhere

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include... Sign in to see full entry.

teacher

Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. Sign in to see full entry.

i need a raise

The boss had listened in sympathetic silence as Mario went through the reasons why he needed, and felt he deserved, a raise. Then, with a compassionate smile, the CEO patted the younger man on the shoulder. “Yes, Mario,” he said kindly, “I know you can’t get married on the salary I’m paying you… and... Sign in to see full entry.

how to pass the time away in an elevator

Fun Things To Do In An Elevator: 1. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.... Sign in to see full entry.