Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, June 28, 2014

sound familiar?

A college student said to his mother, “I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!” “That is very nice,” muted his mother. “You can go upstairs and start with your room.” Sign in to see full entry.

story time

Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, Bug-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants! I'm about to tell you a story I've never heard before, So pull up a chair and sit on the floor. Admission is free, so pay at the door. One fine day, in the middle of the night, two, dead boys got up to fight. Back to... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 27, 2014

computer convention

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal." Recently General Motors addressed this... Sign in to see full entry.

einstein

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks &... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

gotcha teach!

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I." MILLIE: I is... TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am." MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." Sign in to see full entry.

emergency landing

A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent. The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

swearin parrot

So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it... Sign in to see full entry.

Daaaaaaad!

His father sends a small boy to bed. Five minutes later.... "Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Flight attendants

1. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." 2. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until... Sign in to see full entry.

3men

Three men wanted to cross a river. They had no idea how to cross it, so one man knelt down on his knees and prayed "Lord give me the power and strength the cross the river." suddenly the man became very strong and swam across the river. The next man thought: if it worked for him, it'll work for me.... Sign in to see full entry.