Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, September 12, 2014

im sorry to tell you

Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you that you may have rabies, and it could prove fatal. Patient: Well, doctor, please give me pencil and paper. Doctor: To make your will? Patient: No, to make a list of people I want to bite. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 1:37 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

oh officer

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 1:36 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

learning the ropes

An inexperienced real estate salesman asked his boss if he could refund the deposit to an angry customer who had discovered that the lot he had bought was under water. “What kind of salesman are you?” the boss scolded. “Get out there and sell him a boat.” Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 10:02 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

clinging to the boat

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?" "Naw," the man hollered back,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 10:00 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

thanks guys for the comments

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?" "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:27 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

police comments

The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. Count down to #1... #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:26 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, September 8, 2014

Watch were you test a product

The two inventors of the bungee rope went to Spain to test their invention. They built a 50-foot tower and, once completed, one of the guys stood on the edge of the platform and dove into the air with the rope tied to his feet. The other guy, standing up on the platform, waited until his friend... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 9:28 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

estate planning

J oe was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sick father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune. One evening at an investment seminar he spotted the most beautiful woman... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 9:25 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, September 7, 2014

thermos

One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object. "What is that?" Mikey asked. "It's a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 12:56 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

thermos

One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object. "What is that?" Mikey asked. "It's a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 12:56 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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