Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, October 2, 2014

interview

A man was sitting at an interview, in his new suit, looking his very best. As he put his hands down to make a point, he and his interviewer noticed the price tag was still attached to the sleeve. "Well", the man said, "at least I can take the suit back if I don't get the job. Sign in to see full entry.

captivity

Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

lan of opportunity

It says: "Press Any Key" It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving." It says: "Press A Key" (This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.) It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E" It means: "... where you... Sign in to see full entry.

you and computer

You know it is time to reassess your relationship with your computer when.... 1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed. 2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 29, 2014

opposites

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?" "Elation." "And you, sir, how about the opposite of woe?" "I believe that would be giddy up..." Sign in to see full entry.

tie me up

A man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

my dad says

Yes, Theo, what is it? Asked the teacher. I don’t wan to alarm you, Miss Davis, but my dad said if I didn’t get better marks, someone was going to get a licking. Sign in to see full entry.

sadmissions

There was a student who was desirous of taking admission for a study course. He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GD and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 26, 2014

groaner!

Three guys from Jersey drove into the same Manhattan office each day via the Lincoln Tunnel. With gas prices rising, they decided to commute together, each one taking a turn driving in. One of them had to drop out though, because his eyes were bothering him. The optometrist told him he had developed... Sign in to see full entry.

Mr. Briggs

Mr. Briggs looked towards his secretary who was absorbed in painting her fingernails. “Miss Smith,” he said, “I’d like to compliment you on your work- but when are you going to do any?" reminds me of Tim Conway and Carol Burnett skit about Mrs. Sawiggins (not sure the correct spelling since he had... Sign in to see full entry.