Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, October 24, 2014

P.E.

Sign on company bulleting board: “This firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying of the handle, running down the boss, flogging dead horses, knifing friend in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck.” Sign in to see full entry.

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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

groaner alert

When they asked the two monocles why they never got together, they said they'd like to, but didn't want to make spectacles of themselves. Sign in to see full entry.

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911

There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: Help me, please help me; there is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me; can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away? Take it easy, cats don’t hurt... Sign in to see full entry.

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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

groaner alert

Years ago, the Seattle Symphony was doing Beethoven's Ninth under the baton of Milton Katims. At this point, you must understand two things: 1. There's a long segment in this symphony where the bass violins don't have a thing to do. Nothing. Not a single note for page after page; 2. There used to be... Sign in to see full entry.

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musicians

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take... Sign in to see full entry.

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Monday, October 20, 2014

programmers

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. That's a hardware issue. Sign in to see full entry.

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birthing

An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he... Sign in to see full entry.

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Saturday, October 18, 2014

taxes

Everybody should pay their taxes with a smile, said Bob. “I tried it but they wanted cash.” Sign in to see full entry.

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get ready for halloween

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!! Sign in to see full entry.

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Friday, October 17, 2014

bar time

Phil had just joined a club after his friend had recommended it (being a member for quite some time). They were sitting at the bar having their beers when someone yelled "21" and there was a small uproar of laughter. A few minutes later someone else yelled "34" and another roar of laughter rose up.... Sign in to see full entry.

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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