Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

just trying to help

A preacher was walking down the street when he notices a little boy trying to ring the doorbell but it's just out of his reach. he watches his efforts for some time and walks over to press the the bell. After he pressed it he leveled down to the boy and asked' "Now what?" to which the boy turned and... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 1, 2014

oooo

Mrs. Kinsey was one of those women with a natural curiosity. She had to know everything about everything. “How is it,” she asked the dentist one day, “that such little hole in my tooth feels so big to my tongue?” “Well,” said the dentist, “you know how a woman’s tongue exaggerates.” Sign in to see full entry.

groaner

A monastery decided to start a fish and chips store. When the store opened, a client comes in, and asks one of the clerics: are you the fish fryer? Oh, no, the cleric answers, I'm the chip monk! Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

one uphorseship

Two rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says "You know.... when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 90 races, got 5 seconds and 5 thirds.... I am without doubt the greatest racehorse that ever... Sign in to see full entry.

pregnant

A couple was making their first doctors visit prior to the birth of their first child. After the exam, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink. The man and his wife were curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the man took out his... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

drunk

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the... Sign in to see full entry.

remove the curse plz

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 50 years. The wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the course on you.” The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife. ” Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 28, 2014

excelling

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind. The... Sign in to see full entry.

flat tire

Cal was out driving in the country, seeing how his new car handled the curvy roads at high speeds. As he rounded a corner, one of his tires blew. When he got out of the car to change the tire, he noticed that he had stopped in front of the state mental asylum. There was also a man sitting on the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

speeding woman

A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he says, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!" Sign in to see full entry.