Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, November 13, 2014

I won!

A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!" The wife says, "Great! What should I pack for? The ocean or the mountains?" He says, "I don't care! Just be out by the end of the week!" Sign in to see full entry.

marriage

A man sat down and was seriously staring at the marriage certificate, after a long time his wife asked, “What are you looking for? He replied, “The expiration date.” Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

shopping

A couple was at the mall and his wife decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him. In a cocky manner, he asked, “Where are all the men’s clothes?” In a demure... Sign in to see full entry.

@!#@#

The man charged into the jewelry shop, slammed his fists angrily on the showcase, removed a wristwatch from his pocket and shook it under the nose of the owner. “You said this watch would last me a lifetime,” he yelled. “Yeah,” admitted the owner. “But you looked pretty sick the day you bought it." Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

dentist

A husband and wife entered the dentist's room. He said, "I want a tooth pulled. We are in a hurry - so no Novocain or gas. Just pull the tooth out." " You are a brave man,” said the dentist. "Now show me the tooth" "Open your mouth,” said the man to his wife and show the dentist which tooth it is,... Sign in to see full entry.

irs

A man wrote a letter to the IRS: “I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $200.00. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest.” Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 10, 2014

groaner!

A guy was standing at the bottom of the stairs listening to the bells. He decided to go up and meet the ringer. So he raced up the many stairs until finally he was standing not three meters away from quazimodo. In a soft voice he said "can I ring the bells" as the hunchback pushed his head against... Sign in to see full entry.

pick up line

Man: Whats your name? Woman: Tammy Man: You should change it to Campbells, cause you're mmm mmm GOOD! Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

order, order in the court

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q:... Sign in to see full entry.

groaner

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9. wait for it kabu........... Sign in to see full entry.