Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

one wish

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?" The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I... Sign in to see full entry.

3 wishes

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, ''You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 11, 2016

toughing it out

We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house’s lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to... Sign in to see full entry.

ice fishing

It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite. He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not too far from the... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

deep in the heart of texas

Two guys driving through Texas get pulled over by a state trooper. The cop walks up and taps on the driver's window, the driver rolls it down, and the trooper smacks the driver in the head with his night stick. "Ow!" says the driver. "Why'd you do that?" The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When... Sign in to see full entry.

how not to rob a bank

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business. This information was included in an interesting, amusing article titles "How Not to Rob a... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

salary theorem

Dilbert's Salary Theorem states that Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people. This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every... Sign in to see full entry.

needing time off

Two factory workers were talking. "I know how to get some time off from work." said the man. "How do you think you will do that?" said the other one. He proceeded to show her...by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging upside down. The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

following orders

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomachache and my legs hurt, I no come work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better... Sign in to see full entry.

boss's logic

The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt... Sign in to see full entry.