Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

3 nuns

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, 'Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be. The first nun says, 'I want to be Sophia Loren and *poof* she's... Sign in to see full entry.

god

A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to GOD. "GOD", he said, "How long is a million years?" GOD answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute." The man asked, "GOD, how much is a million dollars?" GOD... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 18, 2016

meetin in heaven

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, Your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven." Arthur thought about... Sign in to see full entry.

heaven

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her... Sign in to see full entry.

meetin st pete

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?...... and who are you?" he asked. "This is not your bedroom," the... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

i bet

A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. 'Why don't you put your money where your mouth is,' he said. 'I will bet a... Sign in to see full entry.

inspiration

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

teach me

A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles south of the Georgia/South Carolina state line. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Savannah to do a show that night at the Shrine... Sign in to see full entry.

what's your name

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides he might give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. "Fred," the driver replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred,"... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

parking enforcement

I went to the shop the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there was a damn traffic officer writing a parking ticket for over-running the meter. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, how about giving a man a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the... Sign in to see full entry.