Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, October 11, 2015

constipated

A vet gets a midnight phone call from a farmer. "I`ve got a very constipated cow - been like it for days, it`s in great pain, what can I do?" Sleepy vet, knackered after working all day and all evening, says: "If you`ve got one of those small bottles of highly concentrated milk of magnesia, get that... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 9, 2015

pig tails

A man decides he wants to have a pig roast, so he goes out to a pig farm to buy one. He agrees on a per pound price with the farmer and then begins to select a pig. "How about that one?" "OK," replies the farmer. The farmer then picks up the pig, puts it`s tail in his mouth, lets it hang from his... Sign in to see full entry.

ducks

This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks, one in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the Bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

pun time

A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admire the animal. "What's your dog's name?" she asked. "Herpes," replied the dog's owner. "How....odd," said the woman. "Why Herpes?" "Because he won't heel." Sign in to see full entry.

virgin male

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been with a woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian outback.... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

cat

man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing. As we was... Sign in to see full entry.

penguin travelling

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona and sees that the car's oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He... Sign in to see full entry.

ER

A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing there. The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes and scampered off. The next evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang again. When he answered... Sign in to see full entry.

new version 3 bears

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the big table he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks. Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

parrot

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly.... Sign in to see full entry.