Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, January 17, 2016

i bet

A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. 'Why don't you put your money where your mouth is,' he said. 'I will bet a... Sign in to see full entry.

inspiration

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

teach me

A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles south of the Georgia/South Carolina state line. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Savannah to do a show that night at the Shrine... Sign in to see full entry.

what's your name

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides he might give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. "Fred," the driver replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred,"... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

parking enforcement

I went to the shop the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there was a damn traffic officer writing a parking ticket for over-running the meter. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, how about giving a man a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the... Sign in to see full entry.

father O'Malley

A priest from Ireland was assigned to a Texas diocese. One morning, Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

oh lil johnny!

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny," she said, "If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I? "Thirty-four," Johnny answered unhesitatingly. The teacher replied "Well, that's not far... Sign in to see full entry.

lil johnny on the loose

Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?" Grandpa looks at him and says, "No Johnny, I will not." "But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies, "Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if... Sign in to see full entry.

election humor

Donald Trump said yesterday that if he's elected, he would 'probably not talk as much.' That's right, if Donald Trump is elected, even HE will be speechless." –Seth Meyers "In a new campaign ad, Jeb Bush referenced 'The Godfather' and said his nickname used to be 'Veto Corleone' because he vetoed so... Sign in to see full entry.

why piliots prefer planes

* Airplanes usually kill you quickly; a woman takes her time. * Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch. * Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go." * Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection. * Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation. * Airplanes have... Sign in to see full entry.