Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

kids!

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to... Sign in to see full entry.

first day of school

t was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, "Happy Butt." The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name you need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out." So she went to the principal's office and he asked,... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 1, 2016

forgive

The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies." He asked how many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80 % held up their hands. He then repeated his question once more. All responded, except one elderly... Sign in to see full entry.

preacher

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

oh father!

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?" "Of course. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there anyway you... Sign in to see full entry.

george

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

cowboy and pychiatrist

The psychiatrists were attending their first seminar on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the leader, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?" "Elation." "And you sir, how about the opposite of... Sign in to see full entry.

lawyers

big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

resume bloopers

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable. Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty! Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume. I am sicking and entry-level position. It's best for... Sign in to see full entry.

charley

A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the investigator, "you were near the scene, what happened?" "Well, it's like this. Old Charley Higgins... Sign in to see full entry.