Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, April 15, 2016

new pet

This guy was so lonely that he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion he finally bought a centipede (100-leg bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

dog hair

This lady found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

dallas

The Texas Department of Safety is cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas. For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them. Q.What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A..The Dallas Cowboys... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 11, 2016

3 piggies

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.. The waiter came and took their drink order. 'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy. 'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy. 'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy. The drinks were brought out and... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

why?

Why do Sharks circle you before attacking? Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me, son." the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

I'm all yours

The following ad in the Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls: "Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 8, 2016

bait!

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket. Now the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

walking the dog

A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admire the animal. "What's your dog's name?" she asked. "Herpes," replied the dog's owner. "How....odd," said the woman. "Why Herpes?" "Because he won't heel." Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

flyin high

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! What are you doing?" The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few tokes together. After a while the... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

out of the mouths of babes

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheel barrow full of straw and... Sign in to see full entry.