Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, November 29, 2015

new std

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having... Sign in to see full entry.

noah in modern day

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans, thy sons and their... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

donald runsfeld

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started." "We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead." "Death has a tendency to encourage a... Sign in to see full entry.

dear irs

Enclosed is my 2005 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from "USA Today" archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats. Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 27, 2015

abbott and costello modernized

Date of Joke: Monday, 2nd May, 2005 George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George:... Sign in to see full entry.

dear sirs

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better. This is one of those. It is a real letter submitted to the IRS the midst of 1995s weird and bizarre denial of dependents, exemptions and credits. The letter speaks for itself. Sirs: I am responding to your... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

politicians

busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the... Sign in to see full entry.

W

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."...George W. Bush "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."...George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93 "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

W

George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all the dumb George W. jokes people tell about me." Wise Old Cheney, feeling sorry for his old boss kid, said sage-like, "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll... Sign in to see full entry.

patriotic duty

Thought you might enjoy this message I received from one of my more politically oriented friends...... OUR NATIONAL PRIDE! As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM (ET) all American women are asked to walk out of... Sign in to see full entry.