Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, December 19, 2015

911

A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!" she cries. The 911 dispatcher says, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way.... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 18, 2015

china town

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. Hans Olaffsen?, he muses. How in the world that name fits in here? So he decides to walk into the shop and sees... Sign in to see full entry.

is this true my dear canadian bloggers?

You know your from Newfoundland when.... - You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. - You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. - The mosquitoes have landing lights. - You have more miles on your snowblower than your car. - You have 10 favourite recipes for bottled... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

butcher shop

T here was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork... Sign in to see full entry.

gotta go

An American tourist in London found himself needing to go to the bathroom something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

for all you tupperware lovers

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hot dogs

Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs. One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My God. Do they eat dogs in... Sign in to see full entry.

one upping

German scientists dug 50 metres underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

teachers!

A first grade class comes in from recess. Teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?" Alice says, "I played in the sand box." Teacher says "that's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie. Teacher asks... Sign in to see full entry.

mother's day breakfast

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating... Sign in to see full entry.