Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, February 27, 2017

would you?

A gorgeous young woman gets into a taxi one day. On the way, the cabby asks her, "Hey baby, would you screw me for 25 dollars?" Insulted, the woman asks, "What kind of a girl do you think I am??" "Well," the cabby says, "If I was a multi-millionaire, and paid you a million dollars, and had the body... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

wedding dance

I was at a friends wedding. Her father asked me to dance with him. He was pretty drunk, but I figured what the hell. So we're dancing and I asked, "So, are you enjoying yourself Richard?" He said, "I prefer Dick." I said, "Well so do I, but what does that have to do with anything?" Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

wrong time!

An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented... Sign in to see full entry.

magic potion

A guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night? It's going to be a hell of a party." The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 24, 2017

what/

A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing. She complained to... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

robot

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some homework." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad... Sign in to see full entry.

why worry?

In life there are two things to worry about: either you are well or you are sick. If you are well then there is nothing to worry about, but if you are sick there are only two things to worry about: either you get well or you die. If you get well then there is nothing to worry about. But if you die... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 20, 2017

sailor

An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his. They had not seen each other for many years so they had much to talk about and many old memories to renew. After some time, one said to the other, "If you don't mind my saying so, you don't look very good, you... Sign in to see full entry.

how many?

An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he was connected to the Lord's cricket ground. "How's it going?" he asked. "Fine," came the answer, "We've got three out and hope to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck." He fainted. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

say what!

A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can't believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman is... Sign in to see full entry.